An open letter to whom it may concern at
Paramount and Twentieth Century Fox:
I saw Noah last year and over the weekend I saw Exodus.
I want to thank you for choosing ART.
You see after viewing Noah and Exodus I felt inspired to write you and just THANK YOU for keeping it REAL on these last two films. It's just great to see Studios take a risk for once and really go out on a limb. With all the formulaic and silly reboots over the last couple of decades, everything from Smurfs to the A-Team, it's just refreshing to see such a genuine and sudden appetite for ART.
Sure, you could have played it safe and served the over 260 million Christians out there. But instead you were like, "Nah, we're gonna keep this on the Rizzle and tell it OUR way, Ten Commandments", that's been done, that's not art". You don't win an Oscar by doing the same thing twice. Oh' and let's not forget The Passion of the Christ that stinker made like a billion dollars, anything that makes that kind of money AIN'T ART. Noah with rock people! That is art!"
It's thrilling to see the studios go all Cannes on us, forget the bottom line; "We want to make a STATEMENT."
May I suggest, if you, your investors or shareholders, are interested in doing another Bible film, just to like throw people off their game, you could spend half the money and hire my new film unit the American Dream Labs. I know we don't have the resume in film that Ridley Scott or the guy that made "the black swan", but, sometimes what is on the paper isn't what is important. My team does have a very long history of undeniable success.
We would take a CRAZY approach to film-making, what we would do is tell a story that proclaims God is real. We would make a picture about GOOD MEN that were GOOD fathers, we would show their weakness, but we would give them the benefit of the doubt. Oh and I almost forgot we would follow the story as outlined in the Bible, because the 260 million believers out there just might care to see their stories HONORED and RESPECTED. They just might want to see their heroes portrayed as heroes and the villains as villains.
Now that would be some Avant-garde stuff right there, to Honor the story, that's like some 4th floor MOMA over your head type ART.
But sincerely Rob Moore Vice Chairman of Paramount pictures, I remember the look in your eyes in your screening room as you tried your best to convince us that Noah could be a hit. You had convinced yourself because you were being a good soldier for the studio. Let's change the course.
We are currently in development on several projects. We intend on doing it ourselves as it doesn't seem Hollywood has any intention of even trying to understand a business model that works. Maybe we are wrong. If so: Please take us up on our challenge, half the budget and we will quadruple your sales on the same film.
260 million fans of the Bible would love to see you set the record straight.
You can contact us at The Mercury Studios at americandreamlabs.com
Glenn Beck CEO
Ben McPherson President