Ryan: Trump is president, and other startling facts

Photo by Sean Ryan

You hit your head in a car accident on December 22, 1999, and ever since you have suffered from identanterograde amnesia. Meaning that your long-term memory is intact up to the day of your accident. But now, every night, it resets.

Fifteen years ago, we fell in love, got married, had children, and I write you these daily notes, these reminders.

Our life is basically the plot of "50 First Dates," an Adam Sandler movie featuring Drew Barrymore.

It is now October, 2019. Almost Halloween.

A lot of things have changed since your accident. Obviously, the world survived the millennium. But since then, life has gotten pretty weird.

Donald Trump is President. He ran as a Republican in 2016 and beat Hillary Clinton, former First Lady. People who love Trump, love him to the hilt. People who hate him, hate him every single moment of their day. For a while, there were protests every weekend. And, this month, Trump faces impeachment for the 4th time as he treks across the country on an arena tour.

Remember AOL Instant Messenger? It's gone, but social media replaced it, online platforms where people chat and complain, places like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and dozens of others.

Trump recently demanded, via Twitter, that the nation of Sweden release American rapper A$AP Rocky from custody. Upon success, Trump dad-joked: "A$AP Rocky released from prison and on his way home to the United States from Sweden. It was a Rocky Week, get home ASAP A$AP!"

Then he stiff-armed Denmark for not letting him buy Greenland.

Zoom out a little farther and Trump has become friends with Kanye West, the musical figurehead of our time — who was called a "jackass" by the last President, the country's first Black President — and whose marriage to Kim Kardashian connects him to a bizarre American legacy with its roots in a vicious murder, an MDMA-fueled sextape, and a famous Olympian from the 1970s who inspired young boys to be men on the box of Wheaties, but who is now happily living as a woman named Caitlyn. In true American fashion, the Kanye/Kardashian Legacy has played out on national television over the course of 17 seasons like some beautiful Shakespearean romantic-comedy.

Bill Cosby, long considered America's figurative dad, a convicted serial rapist serving a prison bid. Singer R. Kelly, who sang your beloved "I Believe I Can Fly," is also facing prison time, also for sexual assault and rape, as part of his longstanding sex cult of underage girls. Same for producer Harvey Weinstein, whose name appears in the opening credits of Pulp Fiction right before Quentin Tarantino.

The resultant #MeToo movement advanced women's rights overnight.

Dennis Rodman's friendship with both President Trump and Kim Jong-Un quite possibly prevented World War III.

A potent form of heroin known as Fentanyl killed Tom Petty and Prince and several people you personally knew on account of the opioid epidemic. Same goes for the growing suicide rates. Robin Williams, one of the funniest and most lively people of our time, hanged himself with a belt on a doorknob.

There are human beings who still believe the Earth is flat.

America boasts the highest number of Olympic medals yet we are in the midst of an obesity epidemic.

Michael Jackson? Dead, because of a doctor. And the verdict is still out on Jackson's pedophilic tendencies, but it does not look good.

In general, medical and scientific advancements keep us healthier than ever. Burger King sells a meatless burger. Bookstores don't really exist anymore.

We've got cameras in dune buggies on Mars and footage of other galaxies, and American footprints are still the only ones on the Moon.

The Pope is a hippy from Argentina, and Hip-Hop has overtaken Rock as the most successful genre, maybe ever. Rapper Drake has more hits than the Beatles.

The ocean is full of plastic. Gay marriage is legal. Marijuana, too, pretty much. The Twin Towers are gone forever.

Daily life is just as peculiar. Our phones are not only portable, they contain all known information, including misinformation, and a lot of us can't tell the difference, hence the flat-earthers.

Newspapers are all but gone and news media are bleeding out and Joe Rogan, former host of Fear Factor, is leading a media revolution.

Academia has turned into a big-money scam that many of us fell for, resulting in buyer's remorse cloaked as hatred for the establishment, and we almost had our first woman President. Which is still a sensitive subject.

Billy Joel, who wrote the song "Only the Good Die Young," is still alive.

Overall, life is better than ever before. We live longer. We heal faster. We thought we'd have flying cars and lasers already. Instead, it's mostly plastic surgery and next-day delivery and Facebook spying on us, which, embarrassingly, we somehow did not foresee.

We are privileged to the hilt yet we somehow manage to argue about everything. These last few years, especially, have been pretty rocky.

The following are among the many nonliving objects to have become politicized in the past few years: toads, Brazilian waxes, trains, the color pink, cartoon frogs, the color red, tiki torches, paper clips, hats, beanies, chicken sandwiches, bathrooms, statues, bakeries, the okie-dokie sign, black polos, beer, soccer fields, smiley faces, hurricanes, and so on…. We can't agree on whether or not the Earth is dying.

We can't even agree on facts anymore.

We imagine a day without troubles, as if that were even possible. And at no moment does any of us know what will happen next. Meanwhile entire caravans of people, thousands of them, are trekking through Central America and Mexico for the chance to join us.

In the words of George Carlin, "When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

New installments of this series come out every Monday and Thursday morning. Check out my Twitteror email me at kryan@mercurystudios.com

Terry Trobiani owns Gianelli's Drive Thru in Prairie Grove, Illinois, where he put up a row of American flags for the Fourth of July. But the city claimed he was displaying two of them improperly and issued him a $100 ticket for each flag.

Terry joined Glenn Beck on the radio program Tuesday to explain what he believes really happened. He told Glenn that, according to city ordinance, the American flag is considered "ornamental" and should therefore have been permitted on a federal holiday. But the city has now classified the flag as a "sign."

"Apparently, the village of Prairie Grove has classified the American flag as a sign and they've taken away the symbol of the American flag," Terry said. "So, as a sign, it falls under their temporary sign ordinance, which prohibits any flying, or any positioning of signs on your property — and now this includes the American flag. [...] The only way I could fly the American flag on my property is if I put it on a permanent 20 to 30-foot flagpole, which they have to permit."

Terry went on to explain how the city is now demanding an apology for his actions, and all after more than a year of small-business crushing COVID restrictions and government mandates.

"COVID was tough," Terry stated. "You know, we're in the restaurant business. COVID was tough on us. We succeeded. We made it through. We cut a lot of things, but we never cut an employee. We paid all our employees. I didn't take a paycheck for a year just to keep our employees on, because it was that important to me to keep things going. And, you know, you fight for a year, and you beat a pandemic, and then you have this little municipality with five trustees and a president, who just have no respect for small businesses. And right now, what I see is they have no respect for the republic and the United States ... I think it's terrible. The direction that government, at all levels, have taken us to this point, it's despicable."

Watch the video below to catch more of the conversation:


Want more from Glenn Beck?

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The Biden administration is now doing everything it can to censor what it has decided is COVID-19 "misinformation." But Glenn Beck isn't confident that the silencing of voices will stop there.

Yeonmi Park grew up in North Korea, where there is no freedom of speech, and she joined Glenn to warn that America must not let this freedom go.

"Whenever authoritarianism rises, the first thing they go after is freedom of speech," she said.

Watch the video clip below from "The Glenn Beck Podcast" or find the full episode with Yeonmi Park here:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution, and live the American dream.

Most self-proclaimed Marxists know very little about Marxism. Some of them have all the buzzwords memorized. They talk about the exploits of labor. They talk about the slavery of capitalist society and the alienation caused by capital. They talk about the evils of power and domination.

But they don't actually believe what they say. Or else they wouldn't be such violent hypocrites. And we're not being dramatic when we say "violent."

For them, Marxism is a political tool that they use to degrade and annoy their political enemies.

They don't actually care about the working class.

Another important thing to remember about Marxists is that they talk about how they want to defend the working class, but they don't actually understand the working class. They definitely don't realize that the working class is composed mostly of so many of the people they hate. Because, here's the thing, they don't actually care about the working class. Or the middle class. They wouldn't have the slightest clue how to actually work, not the way we do. For them, work involves ranting about how work and labor are evil.

Ironically, if their communist utopia actually arrived, they would be the first ones against the wall. Because they have nothing to offer except dissent. They have no practical use and no real connection to reality.

Again ironically, they are the ultimate proof of the success of capitalism. The fact that they can freely call for its demise, in tweets that they send from their capitalistic iPhones, is proof that capitalism affords them tremendous luxuries.

Their specialty is complaining. They are fanatics of a religion that is endlessly cynical.

They sneer at Christianity for promising Heaven in exchange for good deeds on earth — which is a terrible description of Christianity, but it's what they actually believe — and at the same time they criticize Christianity for promising a utopia, they give their unconditional devotion to a religion that promises a utopia.

They are fanatics of a religion that is endlessly cynical.

They think capitalism has turned us into machines. Which is a bad interpretation of Marx's concept of the General Intellect, the idea that humans are the ones who create machines, so humans, not God, are the creators.

They think that the only way to achieve the perfect society is by radically changing and even destroying the current society. It's what they mean when they say things about the "status quo" and "hegemony" and the "established order." They believe that the system is broken and the way to fix it is to destroy, destroy, destroy.

Critical race theory actually takes it a step farther. It tells us that the racist system can never be changed. That racism is the original sin that white people can never overcome. Of course, critical race theorists suggest "alternative institutions," but these "alternative institutions" are basically the same as the ones we have now, only less effective and actually racist.

Marx's violent revolution never happened. Or at least it never succeeded. Marx's followers have had to take a different approach. And now, we are living through the Revolution of Constant Whining.

This post is part of a series on critical race theory. Read the full series here.

Americans are losing faith in our justice system and the idea that legal consequences are applied equally — even to powerful elites in office.

Rep. Devin Nunes (R-CA) joined Glenn Beck on the radio program to detail what he believes will come next with the Durham investigation, which hopefully will provide answers to the Obama FBI's alleged attempts to sabotage former President Donald Trump and his campaign years ago.

Rep. Nunes and Glenn assert that we know Trump did NOT collude with Russia, and that several members of the FBI possibly committed huge abuses of power. So, when will we see justice?

Watch the video clip below:


Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.