Ryan: Trump is president, and other startling facts

Photo by Sean Ryan

You hit your head in a car accident on December 22, 1999, and ever since you have suffered from identanterograde amnesia. Meaning that your long-term memory is intact up to the day of your accident. But now, every night, it resets.

Fifteen years ago, we fell in love, got married, had children, and I write you these daily notes, these reminders.

Our life is basically the plot of "50 First Dates," an Adam Sandler movie featuring Drew Barrymore.

It is now October, 2019. Almost Halloween.

A lot of things have changed since your accident. Obviously, the world survived the millennium. But since then, life has gotten pretty weird.

Donald Trump is President. He ran as a Republican in 2016 and beat Hillary Clinton, former First Lady. People who love Trump, love him to the hilt. People who hate him, hate him every single moment of their day. For a while, there were protests every weekend. And, this month, Trump faces impeachment for the 4th time as he treks across the country on an arena tour.

Remember AOL Instant Messenger? It's gone, but social media replaced it, online platforms where people chat and complain, places like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and dozens of others.

Trump recently demanded, via Twitter, that the nation of Sweden release American rapper A$AP Rocky from custody. Upon success, Trump dad-joked: "A$AP Rocky released from prison and on his way home to the United States from Sweden. It was a Rocky Week, get home ASAP A$AP!"

Then he stiff-armed Denmark for not letting him buy Greenland.

Zoom out a little farther and Trump has become friends with Kanye West, the musical figurehead of our time — who was called a "jackass" by the last President, the country's first Black President — and whose marriage to Kim Kardashian connects him to a bizarre American legacy with its roots in a vicious murder, an MDMA-fueled sextape, and a famous Olympian from the 1970s who inspired young boys to be men on the box of Wheaties, but who is now happily living as a woman named Caitlyn. In true American fashion, the Kanye/Kardashian Legacy has played out on national television over the course of 17 seasons like some beautiful Shakespearean romantic-comedy.

Bill Cosby, long considered America's figurative dad, a convicted serial rapist serving a prison bid. Singer R. Kelly, who sang your beloved "I Believe I Can Fly," is also facing prison time, also for sexual assault and rape, as part of his longstanding sex cult of underage girls. Same for producer Harvey Weinstein, whose name appears in the opening credits of Pulp Fiction right before Quentin Tarantino.

The resultant #MeToo movement advanced women's rights overnight.

Dennis Rodman's friendship with both President Trump and Kim Jong-Un quite possibly prevented World War III.

A potent form of heroin known as Fentanyl killed Tom Petty and Prince and several people you personally knew on account of the opioid epidemic. Same goes for the growing suicide rates. Robin Williams, one of the funniest and most lively people of our time, hanged himself with a belt on a doorknob.

There are human beings who still believe the Earth is flat.

America boasts the highest number of Olympic medals yet we are in the midst of an obesity epidemic.

Michael Jackson? Dead, because of a doctor. And the verdict is still out on Jackson's pedophilic tendencies, but it does not look good.

In general, medical and scientific advancements keep us healthier than ever. Burger King sells a meatless burger. Bookstores don't really exist anymore.

We've got cameras in dune buggies on Mars and footage of other galaxies, and American footprints are still the only ones on the Moon.

The Pope is a hippy from Argentina, and Hip-Hop has overtaken Rock as the most successful genre, maybe ever. Rapper Drake has more hits than the Beatles.

The ocean is full of plastic. Gay marriage is legal. Marijuana, too, pretty much. The Twin Towers are gone forever.

Daily life is just as peculiar. Our phones are not only portable, they contain all known information, including misinformation, and a lot of us can't tell the difference, hence the flat-earthers.

Newspapers are all but gone and news media are bleeding out and Joe Rogan, former host of Fear Factor, is leading a media revolution.

Academia has turned into a big-money scam that many of us fell for, resulting in buyer's remorse cloaked as hatred for the establishment, and we almost had our first woman President. Which is still a sensitive subject.

Billy Joel, who wrote the song "Only the Good Die Young," is still alive.

Overall, life is better than ever before. We live longer. We heal faster. We thought we'd have flying cars and lasers already. Instead, it's mostly plastic surgery and next-day delivery and Facebook spying on us, which, embarrassingly, we somehow did not foresee.

We are privileged to the hilt yet we somehow manage to argue about everything. These last few years, especially, have been pretty rocky.

The following are among the many nonliving objects to have become politicized in the past few years: toads, Brazilian waxes, trains, the color pink, cartoon frogs, the color red, tiki torches, paper clips, hats, beanies, chicken sandwiches, bathrooms, statues, bakeries, the okie-dokie sign, black polos, beer, soccer fields, smiley faces, hurricanes, and so on…. We can't agree on whether or not the Earth is dying.

We can't even agree on facts anymore.

We imagine a day without troubles, as if that were even possible. And at no moment does any of us know what will happen next. Meanwhile entire caravans of people, thousands of them, are trekking through Central America and Mexico for the chance to join us.

In the words of George Carlin, "When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat."

New installments of this series come out every Monday and Thursday morning. Check out my Twitteror email me at kryan@mercurystudios.com

As the Senate prepares for former President Trump's second impeachment trial, many are asking whether it's constitutional to try a president after leaving office. Alan Dershowitz, lawyer and host of the of "The Dershow," joined Glenn Beck on the radio program to talk about the legal battles Trump still faces.

Dershowitz said he believes the Senate doesn't have the authority to convict Trump, now that he's a private citizen again, and thus can't use impeachment to bar him from running for office again.

"The Constitution says the purpose of impeachment is to remove somebody. He [Trump] is out of office. There's nothing left to do.
It doesn't say you can impeach him to disqualify him for the future. It says, if you remove him you can then add disqualification, but you can't just impeach somebody to disqualify them," Dershowitz said.

"The Senate can't try ordinary citizens. So once you're an ordinary citizen, you get tried only in the courts, not in the Senate. So it's clearly unconstitutional," he added.

Dershowitz, who served on Trump's legal team during the first impeachment trial, also discussed whether he thinks Trump is legally (or even just ethically) responsible for the Capitol riot earlier this month, and whether those engaging in violence could be considered "domestic terrorists."

Watch the video below to catch more of the conversation:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

A new, shocking CBS News poll shows that the majority of Americans believe they're facing a new enemy: other Americans.

More than two-thirds of poll respondents said they believe democracy in the U.S. is "threatened," and 54% said "other people in America" are the "biggest threat to the American way of life," rather than economic factors, viruses, natural disasters, or foreign actors.

Will it be possible to unite our nation with statistics like that? On "The Glenn Beck Radio Program," Glenn and Stu discussed the poll numbers and what they mean for our future.

Watch the video clip below:

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Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

Countless leaders on the left are now arguing that removing President Donald Trump from office won't be enough — they're now calling for the president's "cult-like" supporters to be "deprogrammed." And it's not just fringe politicians.

During an appearance on "Real Time with Bill Maher" last week, former NBC anchor Katie Couric said, "The question is, how are we going to really almost deprogram these people who have signed up for the cult of Trump."

Former Democratic presidential nominee Hillary Clinton and Democratic Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi questioned whether the nation needs "a 9/11-type commission" to determine whether President Trump was colluding with Russian President Vladimir Putin "the day that the insurgents invaded our Capitol." Clinton also made sure to include her favorite "deplorables" in her unsubstantiated conspiracy theory:

"But we now know that not just [Trump] but his enablers, his accomplices, his cult members, have the same disregard for democracy," Clinton said to Pelosi.

Washington Post columnist Eugene Robinson and New York Times Magazine's Nikole Hannah-Jones agreed that there is a need for "millions of Americans, almost all white, almost all Republicans" to be deprogrammed and punished, during an MSNBC interview last week.

Now, a story from the Washington Post is also preaching that narrative and even added that we need more restrictions for conservatives on social media and in the broadcast industry.

"So now we have to be deprogrammed? We've heard this over and over and over and over again, for months," said Glenn Beck on the radio program Tuesday. He read through the shocking details of the Washington Post op-ed and discussed the extraordinary dangers of the latest anti-conservative movement in America.

Watch the video below:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.

As calls for censorship and restrictions against conservative voices get louder, Glenn Beck said he feels an "awesome responsibility" to speak, not the words he'd personally like to say, but those he believes the Lord would want him to share.

"It's an awesome responsibility, and one that I am not worthy of," Glenn said. "I want to say ... what He wants me to say. And I have to listen very carefully, because I feel the same way you do. But that will get us nowhere."

Glenn said it's time for Americans who are awake — not woke — to come together, no matter which side of the political aisle you're on, and stand with the truth.

"We are the Alamo, we will stand. But we desperately, desperately need you," Glenn said. "We need the people who are awake — not woke — awake. You may disagree with us. We are your allies, not your enemies. And if you will not stand with us in our hour of need, there will be no one left to stand with you in your hour of need. We must all come together, anyone who is awake."

Watch the video below to hear more from Glenn:

Want more from Glenn Beck?

To enjoy more of Glenn's masterful storytelling, thought-provoking analysis and uncanny ability to make sense of the chaos, subscribe to BlazeTV — the largest multi-platform network of voices who love America, defend the Constitution and live the American dream.