In so many ways, the world is turning inside out and upside down. Multiple gender options, trigger warnings, safe spaces, and holidays for pronouns. So on one hand, a story out of Holland fits right into this postmodern-chaos trend. On the other hand, this is probably one form of postmodern absurdity that most people can get behind, depending on how old you are. You'll see what I mean.
Emile Ratelband is a 69-year-old Dutch retiree who says he feels like he's in his 40s. There's your first postmodern clue – it's all about how he feels. He may be knocking on 70's door, but he's a happenin' 40-ish dude at heart. And since that is Emile's truth, he has asked a court in his hometown outside Amsterdam to change his birth certificate to match his young buck feelings.
And why not? If you can change your birth certificate now to reflect whichever gender you feel like being today, why stop there?
Emile wants his birthdate changed from March 11, 1949, to March 11, 1969. At first, Emile says, the judges who heard his case this week, "laughed like little girls." But, after hearing Emile make his inspirational appeal to his youthful vigor, like any good postmodernists would, the judges promised to consider his case and make a decision later this month.
Emile says he doesn't mean to offend transgender people by appropriating their tactic, but he doesn't see changing his birthdate as any different than someone requesting to change their gender.
Never mind that Emile's entire effort here is a lie. Pay no attention to that, because age is just a state of mind.
Of course, Emile's age-defying crusade isn't just about principle. There's a practical side too. He wants to up his dating game. The father of seven is currently unattached and he says, "If you're 69 on Tinder, you're outdated." Friends tell him he could just fudge his age on dating apps, but he says, "I don't want to lie. If you lie, you have to remember everything you say."
Never mind that Emile's entire effort here is a lie. Pay no attention to that, because age is just a state of mind. Focus on the fact that Emile may very well be a pioneering hero to geezers everywhere. He's breaking the fiberglass ceiling. Finally, age fluidity is about to become a thing! And it's about time we make it official because people over forty have already been doing this forever.