The Mainstream Media get plenty of kicks labeling me a conspiracy theorist – you know, for explaining things that actually turn out to be true like the 2008 financial crisis, the caliphate, George Soros, and on and on. The Left spends a lot of time freaking out over conspiracy theories on the Right. But the Left is way more proficient at coming up with wild conspiracies like 9/11 being an inside job, Russian collusion, and the Postal Service voting conspiracy. Yet they never get called out.

Well yesterday, The New York Times published an article titled: "Trump's Tweeting Isn't Crazy. It's Strategic, Typos and All."

Finally – a well-known media outlet had the courage to publish what we've all been thinking… President Trump's tweets aren't just random musings. They are secretly coded messages to his right-wing followers. Trump's tweets are operating on a whole other level. They're like The Da Vinci Code meets 3-D chess.

So, in The New York Times example, on October 30^th, President Trump tweeted:

That's it – no other information or context. Just #BidenCrimeFamily, with two "i's" in the word "family." The New York Times says those two "i's" are no coincidence, they work like a secret video game cheat code to get around the Twitter censors, to keep the "Biden Crime Family" hashtag going viral. Getting around the Twitter censors is key for the president to be able to communicate with his right-wing operatives, because as you know, Twitter is the only really secure way for a President to get important messages to his followers.

The two "i's" also mean the number two, which is the signal for his operatives to convene for a top-secret meeting. When they see the two "i's", they are to proceed immediately to their local Chick-fil-A and order the number two combo, which is the spicy chicken sandwich. That's how they'll know who their fellow operatives are.

Thanks to the New York Times cracking the Trump code, we got our hands on some of his deciphered past tweets which we can now share with you for the first time…

On November 2^nd for example, President Trump tweeted:

That's actually a coded message to his operatives to binge watch The Office. Then, once they make it through the end of season three, they will have all the subliminal messages containing instructions for the crop circles the President wants them to make. After that, they're supposed to go to a 7-11, purchase a medium cherry Slurpee, and hold it in their left hand only as they wait for smoke signals to deliver their next instructions.

Or this tweet on October 20^th:

The President's right-wing operatives know that "fox" refers to the animated movie Fantastic Mr. Fox, in which George Clooney played Mr. Fox. So, "fox and friends" means George Clooney and his friends, which obviously means Ocean's 11. And Ocean's 11 means Las Vegas, which is where operatives are to go to receive their next assignment.

See how this works? It's very precisely coded stuff.

On December 10, 2019, he tweeted:

This is a reference to Salem, Massachusetts. The President's operatives know that Massachusetts was the home of John Adams, our nation's second president. John Adams was of course on the committee to draft the Declaration of Independence. Operatives will remember the documentary about a man named Benjamin Gates who attempted to steal the Declaration of Independence in the early 2000s. Therefore, this tweet means the Declaration is under threat again and operatives should proceed immediately to the National Archives to protect it.

And perhaps the President's most famous coded tweet, on May 30, 2017:

Despite the constant negative press covfefe.

It can now be revealed that this was a call for the specialist wing of the President's operatives to commence operations. COVFEFE is the Cabal of Violent Fighters Expressing Freedom Etcetera.

So, thank you, New York Times, for your service to America. You're clearly the go-to source for all of our code-cracking needs.