Something horrible happened yesterday. Was it Romney winning Ohio? No! Could it have been Barack Obama once again defiling the religious freedoms that have been a hallmark of this country since its founding? Not quite. Did Glenn announce another project that would drain the time and effort of his already overworked staff? Ok, that probably happened but that’s not what we’re here to talk about.
No, yesterday, the cowardly Editor of GlennBeck.com decided to defame and slander Glenn Beck, his employer and (up until yesterday) friend! Worse he did it without even saying his name. Well, Wilson, you’re in trouble now. Glenn has asked us to look into your background and see what people think about YOUR fashion sense! The answer….very little.
Take a good look people, THIS is the guy that dares to mock those awesome suspenders that Glenn has been rocking all year on GBTV:
The beard. The hoodie. The glasses. Disgusting. No wonder he quickly went from Glenn’s assistant to web editor (editor’s note: That hurt).
Even worse, the above was taken at a work function, hence the balloon animal Glenn. Who shows up like THAT to work?!
Here he is the week of 8/28. Jeans? Polo? That’s professional…Glenn wore a tie, you wear a tie….
Well, we decided to reach out to some of his “friends” and “co-workers” (by the time this is published, you can probably add the word former to both of those).
What did they have to say?
One wasn’t so bad, and even acknowledged that what Glenn wears is a little more important than a lowly employee:
“Wilson dresses terribly and you can never predict what’s going to be growing on his face from day to day. But at least Wilson isn’t on camera 5 hours a day.”
Some were downright mean:
“Wilson spends more money on the Dark Knight comic book tie-ins than he does on clothes”
“Wilson is the only Kentuckian who wishes to look like a Brooklyn hipster”
“Wearing the same button down shirt over the same sweater for seven days straight isn’t fashionable or trendy, it’s sad.”
Others questioned why he would attack Glenn:
“People who live in bearded, flannel houses shouldn’t throw stones.”
Others didn’t even go after his fashion sense, attacking his personality instead:
“Wilson has never made a decision in his life. Ever.”
“Wilson models himself after Paul Bunyan.. without being able to do anything with his hands.”
“Wilson was the inspiration behind the ‘Winne The Pooh’ character ‘Eeyore’”
Some commented on his personal life:
“When on public transportation, Wilson is often handed loose change by other passengers.”
“Wilson’s beard is his best friend.”
Yes, we polled the office and those were real responses.
And he thought these were his friends. Sorry Wilson, Stu is just pretending in the below:
So what can we learn from this?
1) Don’t attack your Glenn’s fashion or he’ll commission someone to go after you.
2) Wilson really needs to not come to work looking like a homeless person/Occupy Wall Street protester.
3) Wilson needs to invest less in comic books and buy nicer clothes.
4) Wilson needs to get some new friends.
5) Suspenders are still not fashionable (editor’s note: I still get to edit this thing!)
The GBTV Fact Checking Team