Fear not, New Zealanders – you’re prime minister is NOT a shape shifting reptilian alien. New Zealand Prime Minister John Key was recently asked to provide “any evidence to disprove the theory that [he] is in fact a David Icke style shape shifting reptilian alien ushering humanity towards enslavement.” And rather than ignore the inquiry, Prime Minister Keys responded:
“To the best of my knowledge, no. Having been asked that question directly, I’ve taken the unusual step of not only seeing a doctor but a vet, and both have confirmed I’m not a reptile. So I’m certainly not a reptile. I’ve never been in a spaceship, never been in outer space, and my tongue’s not overly long either.”
“All right. So one down,” Glenn joked on radio this morning. “The President hasn’t spoken out on this and [neither has] Donald Rumsfeld.”
You may recall that last year the White House was asked to respond to rumors that shape shifting aliens had infiltrated the Secret Service – an accusation they never formally denied.
“Both Barack Obama and Donald Rumsfeld have been publicly accused of it,” Pat said. “And have they denied it? Have either one of them been to a vet? No… You know what this is? This is Barack Obama presenting that fake birth certificate. That’s what this is.”
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have officially entered a world in which our leaders are actually addressing whether or not they are shape shifting reptilian aliens.
“That’s pretty amazing,” Pat concluded. “Pretty amazing.”
Front page image courtesy of the AP