Phew! New Zealand Prime Minister John Key is NOT an alien lizard

Fear not, New Zealanders – you’re prime minister is NOT a shape shifting reptilian alien. New Zealand Prime Minister John Key was recently asked to provide “any evidence to disprove the theory that [he] is in fact a David Icke style shape shifting reptilian alien ushering humanity towards enslavement.” And rather than ignore the inquiry, Prime Minister Keys responded:

“To the best of my knowledge, no. Having been asked that question directly, I’ve taken the unusual step of not only seeing a doctor but a vet, and both have confirmed I’m not a reptile. So I’m certainly not a reptile. I’ve never been in a spaceship, never been in outer space, and my tongue’s not overly long either.”

“All right. So one down,” Glenn joked on radio this morning. “The President hasn’t spoken out on this and [neither has] Donald Rumsfeld.”

You may recall that last year the White House was asked to respond to rumors that shape shifting aliens had infiltrated the Secret Service – an accusation they never formally denied.

“Both Barack Obama and Donald Rumsfeld have been publicly accused of it,” Pat said. “And have they denied it? Have either one of them been to a vet? No… You know what this is? This is Barack Obama presenting that fake birth certificate. That’s what this is.”

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have officially entered a world in which our leaders are actually addressing whether or not they are shape shifting reptilian aliens.

“That’s pretty amazing,” Pat concluded. “Pretty amazing.”

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Front page image courtesy of the AP

  • Anonymous

    Obama’s not a shape shifting reptilian alien either, he’s a narcissistic habitual liar and maybe even a precursor too or type of antichrist.

    • Anonymous

      Wow! That’s the most precise description of the Bamster yet! Good job!

    • kandy830

      my Aunty Amelia got a new blue Land Rover
      LR4 only from working part time off a home computer… helpful hints C­a­s­h­D­u­t­i­e­s­.­ℂ­o­m

  • Anonymous

    Well, we should pressure both obama and rumsfeld t check themselves out. Or, maybe they will answer the question without a checkout.

  • ken.

    i thought he was the geico lizard in the commercials.

  • Connor

    Wow who would of known.

  • Hetero Lingo

    On a related note, I’ve found this to be a steadfast beacon in the fog of illusions conjured up by today’s liberals and progressives:

  • Susie Johnson

    John Key could not have see a reptilian specialist in New Zealand because there aren’t any. Do your homework! There are NO SNAKES in New Zealand ,only a few
    tuataras who do not shape shift as a rule

    • Anonymous

      John Key visited Washington, DC (guest of Obama’s White House) July 2011; New York, NY last September, lecturing the United Nations General Assembly about its corruption; and Johannesburg, South Africa for Mandela’s funeral.. All three places teem with snakes. The last has long studied and officially confirmed the historical presence of reptilian aliens. Do YOUR homework!

  • Susie Johnson

    The sixth word should have been seen (see former post)

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