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Glenn's Show Prep

Chief Surgeon Confirms Fart Fire Exists: 'I Lit a Fart Through a Midline Incision'

November 04, 2016
Lori Hanes

Writer

In one of the more pressing news stories of the day, reports surfaced that a woman undergoing laser surgery actually caused a fire by farting. Naturally, the investigative team at The Glenn Beck Program jumped into action.

"It's not every day that you get a story on a fart fire," Glenn reported. "I want to hear from doctors, because I believe it can."

RELATED: Fart Blamed for Causing a Fire During Surgery at a Tokyo Hospital

As luck would have it, Dr. MacDowell, a chief surgeon from Nashville, Tennessee, called in to lend his expert opinion.

"Would you say that fartology is in your realm of business? You've been around some sort of fartologist?" Glenn asked.

"Definitely, I have. I consider myself an expert on it, in fact," Dr. MacDowell said.

Dr. MacDowell went on to confirm that, under the right conditions, a patient's gas can absolutely spark a fire.

Read below or watch the clip for answers to these explosive questions:

• Under what conditions did Dr. MacDowell light a fart?

• Does Al Gore need to get involved in this methane gas problem?

• Among Glenn and his co-hosts, who has lit their own farts?

• Is Jeffy correct about why doctors wear masks?

• Why does Dr. MacDowell say the U.S. has the best medical system in the world?

Below is a rush transcript of this segment, it might contain errors:

GLENN: All right. I think we have to start with the fart fire. I mean, you don't -- it's not every day that you get a story on a fart fire.

PAT: I don't even think this can happen.

GLENN: I want to here from doctors. Because I believe it can.

PAT: Do you really?

GLENN: Yes.

All right. Some -- a woman, where was she?

JEFFY: Japan.

GLENN: She's having laser surgery on her butt.

PAT: Well, her cervix.

GLENN: All right. So she's having -- it wasn't colon surgery?

PAT: No.

JEFFY: No.

GLENN: Well then I don't know if this can happen.

PAT: That's what I'm saying.

JEFFY: What?

GLENN: So, anyway, so she's having laser surgery. And they got the lasers fired up, and she passes gas.

JEFFY: Right.

GLENN: And the laser hits the gas, ignites a fire.

JEFFY: Right.

GLENN: And it sets --

PAT: Of the -- of the, you know, bed she's laying on, ignite and burns her on the lower torso of her body.

JEFFY: She gets burned.

PAT: Her fart didn't cause a laser fire. Come on.

JEFFY: First of all, it couldn't -- I will say -- I believe that it's possible. But it's not the first time that people have passed gas during surgery, right? I mean, that's why doctors wear masks.

GLENN: Yeah. No, that's not why doctors --

JEFFY: They wear the mask so they don't smell the gas.

GLENN: No, it's not for gas. It's really not.

PAT: It's not.

JEFFY: Why else would you --

GLENN: For germs. But it's a good guess on your part. But it's germs.

JEFFY: Okay. All right. If you say so.

PAT: We need to stop the methane gas releases in order to save the planet. It's the SUVs and the farting during surgery that is causing catastrophic damage to the planet.

(chuckling)

GLENN: I mean, so there was a fart fire in the --

JEFFY: Yes.

PAT: I want to hear from doctors whether that's even possible.

GLENN: Of course, it is. People can light their own farts on fire.

STU: No, they can't.

PAT: Not with a laser.

GLENN: You don't know what kind of --

STU: So, Pat, I want to make sure I understand your nuanced position here: You're saying that the issue with this is not that you can't light farts on fire, it's that you can't light farts on fire with a laser.

PAT: Yeah, with a laser.

STU: You can do it with a lighter?

PAT: Yes, you can. Obviously. Were you ever a teenager? Come on.

JEFFY: Haven't you see the YouTube video? Come on.

STU: I don't click on those typically.

PAT: Okay.

JEFFY: Yeah, neither do I. Neither do I.

GLENN: Lori, do you have fart fire on your screen right now? Do you have a YouTube up of a fart fire?

LORI: No.

GLENN: No, you don't? All right. Could you get one?

PAT: She's lying. You know she's lying.

GLENN: Lori who writes for GlennBeck.com is in here. And I'm surprised she didn't have the fart fire up on there, a YouTube video of that, immediately.

STU: So you're saying you can't light farts on fire?

GLENN: Oh.

PAT: No question about it. That's a proven fact.

JEFFY: That's a fact.

PAT: That's a proven fact.

GLENN: Okay. Right here. World fart fire. There it is. Look at that. Look at that.

Now, watch. Look at that.

PAT: Okay.

GLENN: That is a --

JEFFY: Yeah, that -- guys have had their hair burned down their backside for years.

PAT: That's sick. That's sick.

STU: I suppose my question then is why wouldn't you believe that a laser during surgery --

GLENN: That's what I don't understand.

PAT: Just --

GLENN: Of course, this happened.

PAT: I don't think that's possible.

GLENN: Why?

PAT: Because it would have happened a thousand times by now --

STU: Maybe it has.

PAT: And not just in Japan. It would have happened all over the world, and we would have heard about it before now.

GLENN: Maybe -- maybe her gas was a little extra --

JEFFY: Yeah. And it was perfectly timed with the time that the laser came on.

PAT: 877-727-BECK. I got to hear from the audience on this.

GLENN: On fart fires.

PAT: Yes.

GLENN: I don't mean to be crude. But seriously, what if her fart was a little more liquidy.

PAT: Ick.

GLENN: That would cause it to go on the sheet and be like a gas fire.

PAT: Ugh.

STU: What do you mean you didn't mean for it to be crude? You absolutely --

GLENN: How else do you explain that?

STU: You don't explain it -- that's how you --

GLENN: Okay. Then I'll just be quiet. Then I -- you're trying to shut down my freedom of speech.

PAT: I wish he would have, yes.

GLENN: I am trying to have a real -- a serious explanation on how it could catch the sheets on fire.

STU: I have not -- I have not passed a congressional law limiting what you're saying. You should just stop saying it.

GLENN: Boycott.

STU: Not a First Amendment.

GLENN: Next it's a boycott.

STU: It's not.

(laughter)

PAT: I would say that would make it less likely. I would think it would have to be more, you know, gaseous.

GLENN: Gaseous?

PAT: Uh-huh. Do we have a doctor?

JEFFY: Yes, we do.

PAT: All right.

GLENN: Dr. McDowell. Doctor. Doctor.

CALLER: Hello.

GLENN: You refer to me -- when I say doctor, you say doctor.

CALLER: I am -- I am a doctor.

GLENN: Well, so am I a doctor.

CALLER: Is this Glenn?

GLENN: Yes, this isn't Glenn. This is Dr. Beck. It's professional courtesy, man. Doctor.

CALLER: I have no idea.

PAT: He doesn't understand how this works. When Glenn addresses you as doctor, you address him back as doctor.

GLENN: Let's try this again, if you are indeed a real doctor who doesn't know the etiquette of addressing a doctor. Doctor.

CALLER: Doctor.

GLENN: Yes! Yes. There you go.

JEFFY: Thank you.

PAT: It wasn't delivered great, but okay.

GLENN: But we'll take it. We'll take.

Okay. So Dr. McDowell. You are a doctor of?

CALLER: Surgery. I'm a surgeon from Nashville, Tennessee.

PAT: You've worked with lasers?

GLENN: Would you say that fartology is in your realm of business? You've been around some sort of fartologist?

CALLER: Definitely I have. I consider myself an expert on it, in fact.

PAT: All right.

GLENN: Excellent. Do you work with lasers?

CALLER: You know, I think "lasers" is a misnomer in our line of work. We really don't use lasers much. I don't really know what they were doing with a laser around an anus. That really doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

(laughter)

I mean, I don't use a lot of lasers around --

PAT: That's one of the best phrases that's ever been uttered on this show. I don't know what they were doing with lasers around an anus.

CALLER: Right. But so -- but the truth is, it very much can happen. And I was telling your screener about a story that happened to me a few years ago. I was a resident. This was probably ten or 15 years ago at Vanderbilt. And I was on trauma call. And a gentleman came in on a Sunday morning with a history that he had been out at a bar on Saturday night here in Nashville and had gotten into a fight and been stabbed in his abdomen. And went home and passed out. And woke up the next morning, and his belly just felt awful. And so he showed up at our emergency department. And we evaluated him and found that he had some unknown injury to his bowels. And so that -- that's a straightforward indication to take him to the operating room and explore his abdomen.

JEFFY: Oh.

CALLER: And so I had him in the operating room, and I had opened up his abdomen. And I had an electric artery, which is -- can cause a spark. And as soon as I entered his abdominal cavity, a blue flame shot out of his wound. It was the craziest thing. And what had happened was is he had been stabbed and had an injury to his colon, and the methane from his colon had leaked out into his peritoneal cavity and had built up over night.

PAT: Ick.

CALLER: And literally, I lit a fart through his midline incision. It was crazy.

(laughter)

PAT: That's what I'm saying. That needs to stop.

CALLER: So, yes, it can happen. And there were no lasers involved. And it really can happen.

PAT: Wow. It can happen. Wow.

JEFFY: So, Doctor, are you going to deny that that's the reason you wear masks in surgery?

CALLER: Well, there's lots of reasons that we wear masks. It's not like that those masks can control the odor if you enter, you know, some untoward organ. It can --

GLENN: Is there ever --

CALLER: You mainly wear masks for your own -- to make sure that you don't pass your -- your germs on to the patient. So that's the reason why you wear masks.

JEFFY: Whatever.

GLENN: Jeffy.

Thank you, Doctor. Doctor. Oh, my gosh, this guy is not a --

CALLER: Doctor.

PAT: There you go.

GLENN: Thank you.

Doctor, let me ask you this, has there ever been a time that you open somebody up or you were treating somebody and you thought, "You know what, they never told us about this in medical school. And why the hell am I doing this job?"

CALLER: It happens to me almost weekly, Glenn. I mean, you know, there are just some days where I'm like, "God, why didn't I go to law school. Jeez." But it's --

JEFFY: That's amazing.

CALLER: But the truth is, a lot is said about American medicine in these days. And I think that -- I'm the chief of surgery of my hospital in Nashville. And I have a great deal of faith in what we do. I think our technology is great. The training that our physicians is great. And I think that we have the best medical system in the world. I just hope that we can maintain it.

GLENN: Me too.

CALLER: With the next administration, whoever that may be. I'm praying for one particular candidate. So...

GLENN: I'm praying for all of them.

(laughter)

CALLER: Good.

GLENN: Thank you very much, Doctor.

CALLER: Whatever is needed.

GLENN: Appreciate it. God bless you.

That's nice.

PAT: It's interesting. So it can happen.

JEFFY: There you go.

STU: Wow, there you go. It's a real story.

PAT: It can happen.

GLENN: I can't believe you didn't believe.

PAT: I did not believe.

GLENN: You saw the evidence on YouTube.

PAT: It's amazing. Well, I knew that could happen. But the laser thing --

STU: I honestly did not even know that could happen. It felt like one of those urban myths that you would say when you were a kid because you thought it was funny, to light your farts on fire. And then it would actually -- if you tried to do it, it wouldn't actually happen.

GLENN: See, I have to tell you, I don't know why I knew that was not a myth because I had never met anybody, nor had I tried to light farts on fire.

JEFFY: Please. We're supposed to believe that. Everyone has.

GLENN: I have not.

PAT: You personally have firsthand knowledge of it, don't you?

GLENN: I have never tried to light --

JEFFY: Everyone has burned some hair between --

GLENN: No, I haven't.

JEFFY: Jeez.

GLENN: And I don't know anybody who has, Jeffy, until right now.

PAT: You know somebody. You know somebody.

STU: We, as a national talk show, don't typically take requests, but on Twitter @worldofStu, and someone mentions this. And I think is needs to happen. Tell Pat to say anus like Al Gore.

(laughter)

STU: What was the sentence again?

GLENN: I don't know what that laser around the anus...

PAT: I don't know why they had a laser around an anus.

(laughter)

STU: It's a great point.

GLENN: It really is.

STU: Not enough people have made it.

GLENN: And only from a chief of surgery.

STU: What a weird show.

Featured Image: U.S. Air Force surgeons repair the ruptured achilles tendon of a service member. (Photo Credit: Wiki Commons)

Critical theory destroys truth and justice

Editor's note: This article was originally published on TheBlaze.com.

Critical theory once stood out as the absurd progressive notion that it is. Now, its maxims are becoming an integral part of ordinary political discourse. The more you repeat a lie, the more you will believe it, and this is the very dangerous place in which we find ourselves today.

Take this critical theory maxim as an example: If we desire justice, we must sometimes champion what may appear superficially as injustice. It's a necessary evil, if you will, the necessity of “controlled injustice.”

By using truth through fabrication and controlled injustice for justice, we’ll save the republic. We’ll be acting in a noble way.

This definition of justice is defined by the “oppressed,” not the “oppressor.” It is the greatest happiness for the greatest number. To achieve this justice, however, we need to endorse acts on occasion that, while seemingly unjust, serve a higher purpose. It will ensure the stability and the unity of our republic, and this may manifest in ways that seem contradictory to our values. But these are the necessary shadows to cast light on “true justice.”

And isn’t that what we are all after, anyway?

Here’s another critical theory maxim: Sometimes we find the truth through fabrication. Our pursuit of truth sometimes requires a strategic use of falsehoods. The truth is a construct that has been shaped and tailored to promote the well-being of the collective.

We sometimes need to accept and propagate lies designed by "the system” — not the old system, but the system that we’re now using to replace the old to get more justice through injustice and more truth through fabrication.

We’re engaging in a higher form of honesty. When we fabricate, it’s for the right reason. We are reaching up to the heavens fighting for a higher sort of honesty. To fortify the truth, we occasionally must weave a tapestry of lies. Each thread, essential for the greater picture, will ultimately define our understanding and ensure our unity under this infallible wisdom.

The election is coming up. Does this maxim sound familiar? Many think it is imperative that we secure our republic through election control to maintain our republic. Sometimes, we might need to take actions that by traditional standards might be questionable.

The act of securing elections requires cheating. It's not mere deception. It is a noble act of safeguarding our way of life. We're on the verge of losing this democracy, and without deception, we will lose it.

To ensure it doesn't fall into the hands of those we know will destroy it, we may have to make a few fabrications. We're fabricating stories to be able to control or secure the republic through our elections. By using truth through fabrication and controlled injustice for justice, we'll save the republic. Therefore, we'll be acting in a noble way. Stealing an election from those who wish to harm our society is truly an act of valor and an essential measure to protect our values and ensure the continuation of our just society.

If we desire justice, we must sometimes champion what may appear superficially as injustice.

I know it's a paradox of honor through dishonor. But in this context, by embracing the dishonor, we achieve the highest form of honor, ensuring the stability and the continuation of our great republic.

Let this be heard, far and wide, as a great call to patriotic action. As we advance, let each of us, citizens of this great and honorable republic, consider these principles. Not as abstract or paradoxical but as practical guides to daily life. Embrace the necessity of controlled injustice, the utility of lies, the duty to secure our electoral process, and the honor and apparent dishonor. These are not merely strategies for survival. They are prerequisites for our prosperity.

We all have to remember that justice is what our leaders define, that truth is what our party tells us. Our republic stands strong on the values of injustice for justice, honor through dishonor, and the fabrication of truths. To deviate from this path is to jeopardize the very fabric of our society. Strength through unity; unity through strength.

We've heard this nonsense for so long. But now, this nonsense is becoming an instituted reality, and we are entering perilous times. Don't be fooled by the narratives you will hear during the march to November. Never let someone convince you that the ends justify the means, that a little bit of injustice is needed to achieve a broader, collective vision of justice, that truth sometimes requires fabricated lies and narratives. If we do, justice will cease to be justice, truth will cease to be truth, and our republic will be lost.

Top 5 MOST EVIL taxes the government extorts from you

David McNew / Staff | Getty Images
"In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes." -Ben Franklin

The injustice of taxation has been a core issue for Americans since the very beginning of our country, and it's a problem we have yet to resolve. This belief was recently reignited in many Americans earlier this month on tax day when the numbers were crunched and it was discovered that the government was somehow owed even more hard-earned money. As Glenn recently discussed on his show, it's getting to be impossible for most Americans to afford to live comfortably, inflation is rising, and our politicians keep getting richer.

The taxpayer's burden is heavier than ever.

The government is not above some real low blows either. While taxes are a necessary evil, some taxes stretch the definition of "necessary" and emphasize the "evil." Here are the top five most despicable taxes that are designed to line the IRS coffers at your expense:

Income Tax

Joe Raedle / Staff | Getty Images

"It would be a hard government that should tax its people one-tenth part of their income." -Ben Franklin

On February 24th, 2024 we hit a very unfortunate milestone, the 101st anniversary of the 16th Amendment, which authorized federal income tax. Where does the government get the right to steal directly out of your paycheck?

Death Taxes

Dan Mullan / Staff | Getty Images

"Now my advice for those who die, Declare the pennies on your eyes" -George Harrison

Not even in death can you escape the cold pursuit of the tax collector. It's not good enough that you have to pay taxes on everything you buy and every penny you make your entire life. Now the feds want a nice slice, based on the entire value of your estate, that can be as much as 40 percent. Then the state government gets to stick their slimy fingers all over whatever remains before your family is left with the crumbs. It's practically grave-robbery.

Payroll

Bloomberg / Contributor | Getty Images

"The power to tax is the power to destroy." -John Marshall

What's that? The nice chunk of your paycheck the government nabs before you can even get it to the bank wasn't enough? What if the government taxed your employer just for paying you? In essence, you make less than what your agreed pay rate is and it costs your employer more! Absolutely abominable.

Social Security

VALERIE MACON / Contributor | Getty Images

"We don't have a trillion-dollar debt because we haven't taxed enough; we have a trillion-dollar debt because we spend too much." -Ronald Reagan

Everyone knows the collapse of Social Security is imminent. It has limped along for years, only sustained by a torrent of tax dollars and the desperate actions of politicians. For decades, people have unwillingly forked over money into the system they will never see again.

FICA

Kevin Dietsch / Staff | Getty Images

"What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue." -Thomas Paine

FICA is the payroll equivalent of Social Security. Your employer has to match however much you pay. It means it costs your employer even more to pay you—again, you'll NEVER see that money. At this point, are you even working for yourself, or are you just here to generate money for the government to frivolously throw away?

5 DISTURBING ways World War III will be different from previous wars

Oleg Nikishin / Stringer | Getty Images

Has World War III begun?

Over the weekend, Iran launched an unprecedented attack against Israel involving over 300 missiles and drones. This marked the first direct attack on Israel originating from Iranian territory. Fortunately, according to an Israel Defense Forces spokesperson Rear Admiral Daniel Hagari, 99 percent of missiles and drones were successfully neutralized by Israeli defense systems. Iran claimed that the operation against Israel had concluded and that no further offensive was planned, although the possibility of another attack is still present.

This has left many people, including Glenn, wondering the same thing: did we just witness the start of World War III?

Glenn recently had a World War II Air Force Veteran as a guest on his TV special, who told stories of the horrors he and his brothers-in-arms faced in the skies over war-torn Europe. This was a timely reminder of the terrors of war and a warning that our future, if it leads to another world war, is a dark one.

But, if Glenn's coverage of the Iranian attack revealed one thing, it's that World War III will look nothing like the world wars of the twentieth century. Long gone are the days of John "Lucky" Luckadoo and his "Bloody Hundredth" bravely flying their B-17s into battle. Over the weekend, we saw hundreds of autonomous drones and missiles clashing with extreme speed and precision over several different fronts (including space) simultaneously. This ain't your grandfather's war.

From EMP strikes to cyber attacks, here are FIVE ways the face of war has changed:

EMP attacks

New York Daily News Archive / Contributor | Getty Images

The entire modern world, on every level, is completely dependent on electricity. From your home refrigerator to international trade, the world would come to a grinding halt without power. And as Glenn has pointed out, it wouldn't even be that hard to pull off. All it would take is 3 strategically placed, high-altitude nuclear detonations and the entire continental U.S. would be without power for months if not years. This would cause mass panic across the country, which would be devastating enough on its own, but the chaos could be a perfect opportunity for a U.S. land invasion.

Nuclear strikes

Galerie Bilderwelt / Contributor | Getty Images

Nuclear war is nothing new. Many of us grew up during the Cold War, built fallout shelters, and learned to duck and cover. But times have changed. The Berlin Wall fell and so did the preparedness of the average American to weather a nuclear attack. As technology has advanced, more of our adversaries than ever have U.S. cities within their crosshairs, and as Glenn has pointed out, these adversaries are not exactly shy about that fact. Unfortunately, the possibility of an atomic apocalypse is as real as ever.

Immigration warfare

Nick Ut / Contributor | Getty Images

The strategy of strangling an opposing nation's economy to gain the upper hand is a wartime tactic as old as time. That's why the Border Crisis is so alarming. What better way to damage an opponent's economy than by overburdening it with millions of undocumented immigrants? As Glenn has covered, these immigrants are not making the trek unaided. There is a wide selection of organizations that facilitate this growing disaster. These organizations are receiving backing from around the globe, such as the WEF, the UN, and U.S. Democrats! Americans are already feeling the effects of the border crisis. Imagine how this tactic could be exploited in war.

Cyber shutdowns

Bill Hinton / Contributor | Getty Images

Cyber attacks will be a major tactic in future wars. We've already experienced relatively minor cyber strikes from Russia, China, and North Korea, and it is a very real possibility that one of our adversaries inflicts a larger attack with devastating consequences on the United States. In fact, the WEF has already predicted a "catastrophic" cyber attack is imminent, and Glenn suggests that it is time to start preparing ourselves. A cyber attack could be every bit as devastating as an EMP, and in a world run by computers, nothing is safe.

Biological assault

WPA Pool / Pool | Getty Images

Don't trust the "experts." That was the takeaway many of us had from the pandemic, but something less talked about is the revelation that China has manufactured viruses that are capable of spreading across the globe. We now know that the lab leak hypothesis is true and that the Wuhan lab manufactured the virus that infected the entire world. That was only ONE virus from ONE lab. Imagine what else the enemies of America might be cooking up.

The government is WAGING WAR against these 3 basic needs

NICHOLAS KAMM / Contributor | Getty Images

The government has launched a full-on assault against our basic needs, and people are starting to take notice.

As long-time followers of Glenn are probably aware, our right to food, water, and power is under siege. The government no longer cares about our general welfare. Instead, our money lines the pockets of our politicians, funds overseas wars, or goes towards some woke-ESG-climate-Great Reset bullcrap. And when they do care, it's not in a way that benefits the American people.

From cracking down on meat production to blocking affordable power, this is how the government is attacking your basic needs:

Food

Fiona Goodall / Stringer | Getty Images

Glenn had Rep. Thomas Massie on his show where he sounded the alarm about the attack on our food. The government has been waging war against our food since the thirties when Congress passed the Agricultural Adjustment Act of 1938. They started by setting strict limits on how many crops a farmer could grow in a season and punishing anyone who grew more—even if it was intended for personal use, not for sale on the market. This sort of autocratic behavior has continued into the modern day and has only gotten more draconian. Today, not only are you forced to buy meat that a USDA-approved facility has processed, but the elites want meat in general off the menu. Cow farts are too dangerous to the environment, so the WEF wants you to eat climate-friendly alternatives—like bugs.

Water

ALESSANDRO RAMPAZZO / Contributor | Getty Images

As Glenn discussed during a recent Glenn TV special, the government has been encroaching on our water for years. It all started when Congress passed the Clean Water Act in 1972, which gave the government the ability to regulate large bodies of water. As the name suggests, the act was primarily intended to keep large waterways clear of pollution, but over time it has allowed the feds to assume more and more control over the country's water supply. Most recently, the Biden administration attempted to expand the reach of the Clean Water Act to include even more water and was only stopped by the Supreme Court.

Electricity

David McNew / Staff | Getty Images

Dependable, affordable electricity has been a staple of American life for decades, but that might all be coming to an end. Glenn has discussed recent actions taken by Biden, like orders to halt new oil and gas production and efforts to switch to less efficient sources of power, like wind or solar, the price of electricity is only going to go up. This, alongside his efforts to limit air conditioning and ban gas stoves, it almost seems Biden is attempting to send us back to the Stone Age.