Tonight's Glenn Beck Program presented the epic showdown you've been waiting for! Beast vs. Man. Unstoppable Monster vs. Fleshy Chew Toy. Uno vs. Pat Gray! That's right folks, Glenn's new best friend came face-to-face with his old best friend. In the immortal words of Maximus: Are you not entertained?!?
"The Discovery Channel aired a special last night called Eaten Alive. Some guy put on a special suit and helmet, and then they set out to capture an amazing piece of television, a giant anaconda, and they let it eat him alive, because with everything that’s going on in the world right now, seeing a dude swallowed up by a snake is supercritical information."
"But look, here’s the thing, I’m a realist, and if that’s what it takes to get ratings and, you know, take this network over the top, then we have to keep up with the Joneses, so by the end of tonight’s show, this dog right here—and he may look like he’s calm. He’s playing. He’s toying with you now. I want to show you, look at these teeth. See those teeth right there? Can you see those teeth? See these teeth? Look at that teeth. See that? This dog, he is amped up like crazy right now. He is just toying. This dog is going to eat that man right there."
Watch the EPIC battle below: