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GriffinGate: Rest Easy, America, the Secret Service Is 'On It'

Jumping the fence at the White House? It happens. Walking through the president's front door? Whatever. Attending a state dinner uninvited? No problem. Bad art by a bad comedienne? Oh, no you didn't.

Alerted to the threat of attempted art by Kathy Griffin, the Secret Service tweeted this hard-hitting response:

"On it? On what? You can't even keep people out of the White House! How many people have busted into the White House with multiple administrations?" Doc Thompson asked Wednesday, filling in for Glenn on radio.

Kathy Griffin's heinous beheading stunt was in poor taste, not funny and void of intellectual creativity --- but a threat? No so much.

"The Secret Service, like most government agencies, has been a colossal failure. This is not a threat, folks. It's not," Doc said.

DOC: This was not a threat. For all the people saying that Secret Service has to be involved and contact Secret Service -- honestly, did you really think this is a threat?

BRAD: Probably not. But the Secret Service, they've already tweeted out that they've had to open up an investigation because they look at all threats.

DOC: Right. And that's fine. But this is what the Secret Service tweeted out after this -- they put -- and they didn't specifically mention Kathy Griffin or this picture link. It's just a bunch of people were going, hey, Secret Service. Hey, Secret Service. So they tweeted out, on it.

On it? On what? You can't even keep people out of the White House.

KRIS: Well, that's true.

DOC: How many people have busted into the White House with multiple administrations? They scale the fence. They open the front door. The Salehis attend a state dinner, for Pete's sake. They've got Secret Service agents picking up whores and doing blow in South America. And this is want just one case. Case after case after case of failures at the Secret Service, and you're on it? Well, I'm glad you're on a piece of art that was a bad joke. How about getting on the Secret Service agents to make sure that people aren't breaking into the White House?

BRAD: There's that, yeah.

DOC: We think we can take care of this one. It's a picture.

KRIS: Is that what it is?

DOC: I think so. We can take care of it or whatever. The Secret Service like most government agencies has been a colossal failure. This is not a threat, folks. It's not. And, by the way, I don't know why it's illegal -- maybe inappropriate -- but illegal to offer some sort of threat to the president anyway. I mean, if you're doing humor, satire or whatever, it certainly shouldn't be, even if it's not funny and even if it's inappropriate.

BRAD: Wouldn't they say that threats made against Secret Service protectees receive the highest priority of all of our investigations. #Protectionneverrests.

DOC: So you were on duty when the people -- you weren't resting?

BRAD: We weren't asleep. We were observing.

DOC: Wow. It is a colossal failure.

KRIS: I love the hashtag. That's a good hashtag.

DOC: Which one? Oh, protection never rests. Okay. Yeah. Secret Service. They said, on it. Secret Service has a robust protective intelligence division that monitors open source reporting and social media to evaluate threats.

So let me clarify. Let me clarify just a second. They have a division that monitors open source reporting and social media to evaluate threats. Meaning, while the guys were doing hookers and blow in South America, while people, multiple people scaling fences, running into the White House and all around the grounds, there were people going, "Hey, Hal, I got a tweet here. Guy calls the president an A-hole. You think this could be a threat?" I don't know. Hang on. Janet, come here. Can you look at this? He used three exclamations. It is more more than two. Maybe we should screen grab this. And, meanwhile, the guy is like, hello, you home? Obama? You here? Barry?

KRIS: He just opens the door. He doesn't even knock. This is the people's house. Let me get in there.

DOC: I'm going to make myself a sammich or something. This is a fail. If this is your concern, meanwhile, people are on the White House grounds, you're doing it wrong.

KRIS: Yeah. You forgot about the mystery shot at the White House. Somebody hot at the White House and it was only found because they were doing a sweep. And they're like, what's this? It looks like a bullet hole.

DOC: Hey, Bob, there's a hole right here. Was that here?

KRIS: Exactly. How long has that been here? Yes, that's the historic gunshot of 1915. Woodrow Wilson was president then.

BRAD: Of George Washington.

DOC: It was a different time. We just left it there for novelty's sake. Little sign pointing to it. Tells the story on the wall.

BRAD: You'll hear about it on the tour.

KRIS: Right. Yeah, they did. They found a bullet hole in one of the windows. Nobody ever knew.

BRAD: Hopefully it's bulletproof glass.

DOC: Now, I think they've actually replaced it and done some of that. They had to go through and retrofit this stuff.

KRIS: We should take that bulletproof glass.

DOC: Nah, nah. No, we've never had a problem with it. What's that hole? Oh, apparently, we've had had a problem with it. Colossal failure.

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