President Trump recently signed an executive order to reinstate the Presidential Fitness Test and the media is in a frenzy. But Glenn and Stu look back at the history of these tests, including JFK’s version of the Test that seems IMPOSSIBLE for modern Americans. But Glenn has a secret reason for why he’s confident in his pull-up abilities…
Transcript
Below is a rush transcript that may contain errors
GLENN: What is the -- what is the new physical -- the president's physical fitness, you know, plan?
STU: Well, the thing that RFK Jr and Hegseth were rolling out the other day. I don't know if it was the full test or anything, but they were issuing a challenge to America, to be able to do 100 pushups and 50 pullups within five minutes.
GLENN: That's crazy.
STU: Thank you! That struck you as also crazy.
I don't think there's ever been a time in my life, that I could do that. Let alone now with shoulder problems. And much too much weight.
GLENN: All right. But that was before I needed this walker.
STU: I don't think there was a time in my 20s or my teens, that I could do that. But that -- in five minutes? Fifty pullups?
GLENN: Both of them in 5 minutes.
STU: Yeah, both of them. So it's not like 100 pushups in five minutes. It's both tasks within five minutes.
GLENN: No. No. That's not true.
STU: RFK Jr. is just doing it in jeans.
GLENN: Yeah, well, RFK, he's -- he's a weirdo. I mean, he is. Come on. When it comes to fitness, he's a weirdo.
STU: Yes.
GLENN: I mean, he's done this his whole life. He's like 800 years old. He can still do it.
STU: Yes. Depressive, I will say.
GLENN: I don't know. He's a sex machine.
STU: Oh. That's been a problem for him. Yes, that's been an issue in his life. Yes.
GLENN: Okay. All right. Go ahead.
STU: Separate from the president's physical fitness test.
GLENN: Right.
STU: But, I mean, they don't, they don't really think we're going to do that, right?
Like, I mean, how long would that take you to do?
STU: I think for me, it would take a good month. I think a month, I could probably get two pullups a day. That would get me around, a little over 50. So I could do that. Plus, the pushups. A solid month, I could get that done.
GLENN: You could do more than two a day. You could do more than two a day.
STU: You know, Glenn, I've got to say. I think -- I will throw a number out there. No science behind this, so just as a guestimate.
I would say 40 percent of the population can't do any pullups. Maybe 30 percent. Thirty percent of the population can do exactly zero pullups. Precisely zero, so an infinite amount of time would be a correct answer for a third of the population.
GLENN: I think you're -- I think you're being -- I think you're being a little too optimistic. I think it's closer to 40 or 50. I think it's closer to 40 or 50. Maybe 60 percent.
STU: Right! Pushups are one thing. I mean, I think almost anyone can do a pushup. One --
GLENN: You can do a pushup. Yes. Yes.
STU: Singular pushup. And if you can do one, you can wait long enough, to do a second one.
And at some point, the hundred gets done. That's not the case with pullups. Pullups, you can sit there and think about how much you want to do a pullup for a really long time. But that doesn't make a pullup happen. If you've got a certain amount of weight on you. You're not doing a pullup. It's not occurring.
GLENN: I have no idea, how many pullups I can do.
STU: I have an exact number of pullups, you can do.
GLENN: Do you? You think so?
STU: Yeah. Yeah. I have the exact number. I have to calculate -- AI has been running a report on me. It came up with zero.
GLENN: Right. Right. Really?
I can do. I mean, this is so pathetic. Listen to this. I bet I could do three. You know, you could do three.
STU: In a row? Proper form.
GLENN: What do you mean in a row?
STU: I mean, holding on to the bar, without letting go, you're doing three. There's no way. I don't think so.
GLENN: I think I could do. Well, with proper form, I don't know about that. I don't know about that.
STU: I'm not saying it has to look pretty. You have to get your chin up above the bar. It can't be one of those things, where you're a quarter of the way up there.
GLENN: So I can do one and rest for ten minutes. I could do another one.
I think I can do that.
STU: If you -- I'm not saying, you jump up, and you pull yourself up as you're pulling up. Full hang --
GLENN: See, you may not know this.
But you know what, I've done the DNA test. Have you ever done the DNA test that tells you all about your genes and everything else? Mine came back with something remarkable, and I have to share. You might feel bad, next.
(laughter)
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STU: Coming up next, Glenn attempts live pullups on the air. Stay tuned!
(OUT AT 8:29 AM)
GLENN: You know no idea what who you're dealing with. No. You don't have any idea who you're dealing with here.
I got my DNA test back like 10 years ago. And we all -- we all took it, because we were looking for things. And so we all took it. My DNA test came back, and everybody in the family, their test made total sense. Like, oh, yeah. That makes...
Then we read mine. We have to find -- I have to find. See if Tania has it still. We should have had it framed. I swear to you, they -- they mixed me up with somebody else.
Somebody else is like, wait a minute. I'm this pathetic? Mine came out and said, you have the muscular structure of a -- of a -- something like a -- an elite athlete. You have the abilities and agility and everything else of an elite athlete. And I'm like, there's not a chance. I don't have any of that!
I don't even know if I have muscles. I have to check once in a while, and go, do I have muscles still?
Doctor is like, I don't know. Can I? Ask just press against my hand on the leg. I don't know.
You know, I don't know how to do that exactly. So --
STU: You sure it said elite athlete and not elephant? I mean, if they misspelled it.
GLENN: It was.
I was having eye problems at the time.
STU: No!
GLENN: I mean, we read it. And I was like Tania, I believe that for Tania.
Maybe they switched me and Tania. Because Tania is really strong. She'll kick your butt.
She works out every day. All of that. Me? Never. Never.
And it kind of makes me wonder, when I get to the other side, and the Lord went, okay.
So what did you do with your life again?
Because I gave this incredible body, and you wasted it the whole time.
And I'm like, you should have been more clear, okay?
You should have been more clear. I -- maybe I could have played basketball. But I tried once. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing. It was like sixth grade. And I'll never live -- I don't even want to think about my time on a basketball court. Okay? So don't -- don't start with me. You should have made it a little clearer. When I first started to do stuff. And I think that's fair. I think that's a fair argument. In my defense. In my defense, Your Honor, God, you should have made it a little more clear.
STU: Yeah. I mean, if they really wanted us to do this, then the 11th Commandment is 50 pushups, and -- or, 50 pullups and 100 pushups, right?
Like, put it in a commandment if you really want us to do it. You have to be more specific, we're Americans.
GLENN: Okay. So let me give you the top of the list for the JFK Presidential Fitness Test. Okay? This is what you had to do in high school. In high school.
Thirty-four pullups. Bar dips: Fifty-two. What's -- because I believe I did that. A long time. And I don't recommend it.
STU: It's not a barhop.
GLENN: Oh, it's -- oh, bar dips. Okay. Okay. All right.
Bar dips: 52. Handstand pushups: Fifty. What are handstands?
STU: Oh, my God. Handstands.
GLENN: I can't even stand on my hands. Is that I'm doing a handstand and a push up? Because that's not happening. You're not human.
STU: Yeah. You're balancing yourself on your hands. Your feet are above your hands on the wall. Like a wall. And you're doing --
GLENN: Oh, so you're balancing yourself. That makes it a little easier. Still impossible.
But a little easier.
GLENN: Impossible. You could do precisely zero of those.
Aright. So you had to do 50 handstand pushups.
Or one arm -- 30 -- no, sir.
Twenty-six one-arm burpees in 30 seconds. Is that a one-armed push up?
STU: No. Well, you're bracing your yourself like you're about to begin a pushup in a burpee with only one arm, which that's not that difficult.
But then you're doing. Then you're like, you move your feet towards your hands. And then you jump up in the air basically. And then you do it repeatedly.
GLENN: No, no, no. That's ridiculous. No.
STU: There's a law of gravity. You're not supposed to violate it. If it was a recommendation of gravity, then maybe jumping would be appropriate. But it's not. Follow the law.
GLENN: In 48 seconds, you had to do a 3300-yard shuttle. Now, I've been to the airport. I think I've done a 3300-yard shuttle, but it depends on who is driving. You know.
STU: Yeah.
GLENN: Rope climb. Try this. Rope climb. Twenty feet, hands only! Sit start.
STU: That's what I remember from the president's physical fitness test. And I remember looking at that rope, like, no chance I could get up that thing.
GLENN: I remember looking up at that thing. Humiliation. Humiliation is coming my way. I'll never kiss a girl, because that ain't happening. I'll get maybe 10 feet up. Maybe. Maybe.
STU: And you were right for 24 years from that time, approximately.
GLENN: Agility run, 17 seconds. Extension pressups, what? What?
I'm sorry. Why am I so tired reading this?
Extension pressups. What's an extension pressup, 8-inch? You had to do 100 of them.
STU: Let's see. Exercise. An exercise for low-back pain involving lying on your stomach and pressing your upper body up with your arms while keeping your hips relaxed and down on the mat.
GLENN: Oh, I could do that know. 8 inches.
STU: The last part of it, relaxing down on the mat.
GLENN: That's what my doctor says I should be doing. What?
STU: I can do relaxed and down on the mat. That part of it --
GLENN: Yeah. I could do that -- I'm the only guy. I took yoga for a while, like three weeks. My wife is like, yoga. You could do yoga. Let's just do yoga together.
I did. And the yoga instructor said to me. Because we were doing a plank.
STU: Yeah.
GLENN: And she came and all I remember her waking me up. And saying, I think you're the only person I've ever -- ever taught that fell asleep in yoga. And I'm like, it's just so relaxing. Just let me sleep. Let me sleep.
STU: That's interesting, that you did yoga. Is there any footage of that? Any video that we could post? That would be good for --
GLENN: No. There's not. You had to do pegboard. Five trips of pegboard. And I think that's when you have the two pegs.
STU: Yes, it was a board.
GLENN: You have to take it out, and put it up, right?
STU: This is American Ninja Warrior. No way.
GLENN: There's no way. There's no way.
STU: This is amazing.
GLENN: Try this one: You had to do a 45-second handstand. I've never been able to do a handstand. Never!
STU: Never.
GLENN: And I'm an elite athlete. I'm an elite athlete. Try this one: A man carry, 5 miles.
STU: What? What do you mean a --
GLENN: Five-mile man carry.
STU: Is a man carry as obvious as it --
GLENN: I think it is.
STU: You're carrying --
GLENN: If I'm going to carry that man, you have to carry me that man for five miles.
I'm not sure, I can't carry any man for any miles. I mean, if I am -- if I am a firefighter, count on burning in the house. You're going to burn in the house. Because I can't carry you out. I can get in there and go, yeah, I will have to leave you.
I will have to leave you here. I can't help you, sorry.
It's also getting really hot in here. I have to go. You had to do a five-mile jog. An obstacle course.
You had to swim prone for a mile. You had to swim underwater for 50 yards, any strokes, two minutes. Deep waterfront, hang float, with arms. What? What is a deep water hang float with arms. Wait. Wait.
It's a deep waterfront hang float with arms and ankles tied for six minutes.
What kind of al-Qaeda PE class was this?
STU: Who has access to -- who has access -- like, you're in the middle of the country, you may not have a deep water body nearby. This is -- are you sure this is an actual test?
GLENN: This is the actual test. This is the actual -- what is a deep water front hang float with arms and ankles tied for six minutes? Can you look that up?
STU: A deep water hang float is an aquatic hang float done in the deep end of a pool with the aid of flotation device, such as a noodle or belt.
In this position, the flotation twice supports your upper body, while your legs and torso hang freely beneath you.
That can't be what it is.
GLENN: You can do that.
Deep-end of the pool.
STU: Can you bring a margarita?
GLENN: Man, this test is no big deal.
What! No way. No way!
Here's the last thing on the test.
A vertical tread in an 8-foot circle for two hours!
No way.
STU: Vertical tread in an 8-foot circle?
GLENN: So you're in the water and you're treading water in a circle for two hours. Two!
STU: This is not -- what?
This is not the test.
GLENN: It is. Now, I told you, this is the top of the test.
This is the top of the test.
So this is for the ones who could do all the other tests.
This was the top of the test. The bottom of the test is not that much better. Here's the entry, okay? Let's see. Pullups, 2/6/10. I don't know what that means. Pushups, 16, 24, 32. Bar dips, four, eight, and 12. Situps, 30, 45, and 60. Broad jump, 6-foot, 6, 6, 6. And 6, 9.
To jump 6 feet? I don't even know if --
STU: That one is possible, yes. Glenn, I know it sounds incredible. But, yes. That one is possible.
GLENN: Sounds incredible. You know, I think we should have the average person Olympics. I really do. I really do.
STU: Oh, I would watch that.
GLENN: I would watch that every time.
You see them coming. And you're like, hmm. That one -- three feet. I'm giving him 3 feet. 200-yard shuttle. Agility run. Rope climb, 18 feet, hands only. 880 yards in three minutes. A mile in seven minutes. Pegboard, six holes. A 50-yard swim. Forty -- 40, 50-yard swim in 36 seconds. Man carry, 880 yards. No, thank you! No, thank you!
Look at -- look at what we've gone down. That's the bottom of it. And I don't think most Americans could do that.
I couldn't. Well, I could. Because I'm an elite -- I have the body of an elite athlete.
STU: No. You could not. Now, of course -- let's just say, this is supposed to be for a high school kid. Right?
So this is the prime of your athletic life. Could you do some of these things? Probably.
GLENN: Go into high school.
Go into any high school, and ask them to do this. There's no way. And all of the kids would be.
STU: Well, that's kind of what the reaction would be.
GLENN: Don't get me wrong. I would have been there too. And my parents would have said, suck it up. Just do it.
So nothing has really changed.
STU: That's been the reaction to this proposal too, of bringing this back. Right? The media is covering this. Like, it's going to embarrass children.
You know, I mean, I do remember it being like, I can't do that. I'm not going to the top of that rope. That's not happening.
That's sort of life. Right? Sometimes you can do things. Sometimes you can't do other things.
GLENN: That's why you have to learn how to injure yourself.
You know, how many stairs can I throw myself down, to not do serious damage, but enough to get me out of PE.
STU: Yeah, you have to fake an why are. You have to learn from LeBron James. Act like you got hit in the eye. And fall down like you were just stabbed over and over again, like you were in an athletic competition.
GLENN: There's no way. There's no way.
