7 SAVVY ways to ENJOY the Apocalypse

November 06, 2023

You know, life is stressful enough on any normal day, and that’s without the rivers turning to blood, the seven scrolls being unsealed, and the frogs turning gay. So why not take the opportunity to de-stress during the Apocalypse, with these seven tips?

1. Cook a good meal

A man uses the fire and brimstone from the apocalypse to grill his steak dinner.

If there’s one thing you can count on as the Prince of the Power of the Air ascends his temporary Throne among man, it’s a lot of available, free heat! Why not seize the opportunity and grill up some burgers and hot dogs?!

Sure, you may have to scrounge around awhile to come across the meat you’ll need—and you might have to shoot a neighbor or two in the process—but hey…gotta crack a few eggs, am I right? Remember, it’s hard to hide from the blood cults when you’ve got a rumbly-tumbly, And you don’t want to face the end while you’re hangry, do you?

2. Become a Warlord

A warlord dawns his fur coat while preparing for a battle during the apocalypse.

Nobody likes it when there are too many chefs in the kitchen and not enough lackeys. But great news! Almost everybody is dead now—so the law of averages is ruling in your favor! Start your own marauding militia out the right way by adopting just the right look! A little face paint here, a little camouflage military getup of the stolen-valor variety there. And hey, if you DON'T have a shrunken enemy skull firmly resting on top of a pike, you can make one in just a few weeks using some basic DIY skills, a little sand, and a fair bit of elbow grease.

3. Relax and Read a Good Book

A man reads his favorite book on the beach while watching the apocalypse unfold.

You know what’s great about there being no electricity, internet, hot water, running water, clean drinkable water, food distribution networks, emergency services, clothing manufacturing, fuel of any sort, vehicle maintenance, and illicit massage parlors? So much free time to kick back and enjoy a good book! Go wild! The world is your oyster. Heck, read up on Marx; maybe this is the time it’ll work!

4. Enjoy a tax-free year

A man cuts up his taxes after the apocolypse.

You know who has two thumbs (probably) and doesn’t have to pay taxes this year? YOU! Time to load up those wheelbarrows full of cash you were carting around before all the bombs fell, and make the dangerous, almost certainly suicidal trek all the way to Washington, D.C. where you can fan out your ten-million dollar bills in one hand, flip off the I.R.S. building with the other hand, and use the third hand you’ve suddenly grown from being around too much radiation to flip off the place where the White House used to be!

5. Go on a shopping spree

A woman prepares for her shopping spree during the apocalypse.

Remember when there were still things like television and the news? Remember all those people who engaged in mostly peaceful protests by doing fun things like ransacking Target stores while employees looked on, stealing TVs and designer clothes, smashing windows and occasionally killing people, all in the name of social justice? Didn’t that look like fun? Well, you’ve waited patiently, and now it’s YOUR turn. Have a ball! Get out there and grab all that fun stuff you never quite had the nerve or the fundamental lack of social morality to take in the past. Remember: it’s not looting if the store employees have been turned into swirling piles of radioactive ash!

6. Invest in green energy

A man sets up solar panels in his front lawn to prepare for the apocalypse.

Hey, remember all that time you spent whining and complaining about how green energy wasn’t really a solution for climate change? How things like windmills and solar panels were incredibly inefficient, unable to keep up with the power demands of the whole world, and a damned eyesore pretty much everywhere they were used? Hurray! That’s ALL over now! Not only has the world population been reduced to a tiny fraction of what it once was—freeing up so much potential green energy for the straggling few survivors—but…and this is the kicker…those are the only things that could possibly produce electricity now that the grid has been fried by EMPs! Don’t worry—they won’t work either, but they’ll make fantastic lawn ornaments and will give you something to do until you give up in frustration and move on to the next useless thing to spend your time on!

7. And finally...commit copyright fraud

A man scams the copyright to 'Fifty Shades of Grey' after the Apocalypse.

And I mean rampantly, brother! You wanna claim you wrote Fifty Shades of Grey? Who’s going to take you to court over it? Who wrote the White Album? I did; fight me. I can always use another shrunken skull to put on my pike. Listen, the more you think of yourself like a North Korean dictator, and less like just some schmoe who happened to survive the fall of civilization, the more you’re going to be able to have a good time. And let’s be honest: at this point, having a good time is pretty much what it’s all about!

EXPOSE: Your tax dollars FUND Marxist riots in LA

Anadolu / Contributor | Getty Images

Protesters wore Che shirts, waved foreign flags, and chanted Marxist slogans — but corporate media still peddles the ‘spontaneous outrage’ narrative.

I sat in front of the television this weekend, watching the glittering spectacle of corporate media do what it does best: tell me not to believe my lying eyes.

According to the polished news anchors, what I was witnessing in Los Angeles was “mostly peaceful protests.” They said it with all the earnest gravitas of someone reading a bedtime story, while behind them the streets looked like a deleted scene from “Mad Max.” Federal agents dodged concrete slabs as if it were an Olympic sport. A man in a Che Guevara crop top tried to set a police car on fire. Dumpster fires lit the night sky like some sort of postapocalyptic luau.

If you suggest that violent criminals should be deported or imprisoned, you’re painted as the extremist.

But sure, it was peaceful. Tear gas clouds and Molotov cocktails are apparently the incense and candles of this new civic religion.

The media expects us to play along — to nod solemnly while cities burn and to call it “activism.”

Let’s call this what it is: delusion.

Another ‘peaceful’ riot

If the Titanic “mostly floated” and the Hindenburg “mostly flew,” then yes, the latest L.A. riots are “mostly peaceful.” But history tends to care about those tiny details at the end — like icebergs and explosions.

The coverage was full of phrases like “spontaneous,” “grassroots,” and “organic,” as if these protests materialized from thin air. But many of the signs and banners looked like they’d been run off at ComradesKinkos.com — crisp print jobs with slogans promoting socialism, communism, and various anti-American regimes. Palestinian flags waved beside banners from Mexico, Venezuela, Cuba, and El Salvador. It was like someone looted a United Nations souvenir shop and turned it into a revolution starter pack.

And guess who funded it? You did.

According to at least one report, much of this so-called spontaneous rage fest was paid for with your tax dollars. Tens of millions of dollars from the Biden administration ensured your paycheck funded Trotsky cosplayers chucking firebombs at local coffee shops.

The same aging radicals from the 1970s — now armed with tenure, pensions, and book deals — are cheering from the sidelines, waxing poetic about how burning a squad car is “liberation.” These are the same folks who once wore tie-dye and flew to help guerrilla fighters and now applaud chaos under the banner of “progress.”

This is not progress. It is not protest. It’s certainly not justice or peace.

It’s an attempt to dismantle the American system — and if you dare say that out loud, you’re labeled a bigot, a fascist, or, worst of all, someone who notices reality.

And what sparked this taxpayer-funded riot? Enforcement against illegal immigrants — many of whom, according to official arrest records, are repeat violent offenders. These are not the “dreamers” or the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. These are criminals with long, violent rap sheets — allowed to remain free by a broken system that prioritizes ideology over public safety.

Photo by Kyle Grillot/Bloomberg | Getty Images

This is what people are rioting over — not the mistreatment of the innocent, but the arrest of the guilty. And in California, that’s apparently a cause for outrage.

The average American, according to Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass, is supposed to worry they’ll be next. But unless you’re in the habit of assaulting people, smuggling, or firing guns into people’s homes, you probably don’t have much to fear.

Still, if you suggest that violent criminals should be deported or imprisoned, you’re painted as the extremist.

The left has lost it

This is what happens when a culture loses its grip on reality. We begin to call arson “art,” lawlessness “liberation,” and criminals “community members.” We burn the good and excuse the evil — all while the media insists it’s just “vibes.”

But it’s not just vibes. It’s violence, paid for by you, endorsed by your elected officials, and whitewashed by newsrooms with more concern for hair and lighting than for truth.

This isn’t activism. This is anarchism. And Democratic politicians are fueling the flame.

This article originally appeared on TheBlaze.com.

Glenn Beck's 'No King but Christ' merch: Will faith STOP the chaos?

On Saturday, June 14, 2025 (President Trump's 79th birthday), the "No Kings" protest—a noisy spectacle orchestrated by progressive heavyweights like Randi Weingarten and her union cronies—will take place in Washington, D.C.

Thousands will chant "no thrones, no crowns, no king," claiming to fend off authoritarianism and corruption.

But let’s cut through the noise. The protesters' grievances—rigged courts, deported citizens, slashed services—are a house of cards. Zero Americans have been deported, Federal services are still bloated, and if anyone is rigging the courts, it's the Left. So why rally now, especially with riots already flaring in L.A.?

Chaos isn’t a side effect here—it’s the plan.

This is not about liberty; it's a power grab dressed up as resistance. The "No Kings" crowd wants you to buy their script: government’s the enemy—unless they’re the ones running it. It's the identical script from 2020: same groups, same tactics, same goal, different name.

But Glenn is flipping the script. He's dropping a new "No Kings but Christ" merch line, just in time for the protest. Merch that proclaims one truth: no earthly ruler owns us; only Christ does. It’s a bold, faith-rooted rejection of this secular circus.

Why should you care? Because this won’t just be a rally—it’ll be a symptom. Distrust in institutions is sky-high, and rightly so, but the "No Kings" answer is a hollow shout into the void. Glenn’s merch begs the question: if you’re ditching kings, who’s really in charge? Get yours and wear the answer proudly.

Truth unleashed: 95% say media’s excuses for anti-Semitism are a LIE

ELI IMADALI / Contributor | Getty Images

Glenn asked for YOUR take on the rising tide of anti-Semitism, and you delivered. After the Boulder attack, you made it clear: this isn’t just a news story—it’s a crisis the elites are dodging.

Your verdict is unmistakable: 96% of you see anti-Semitism as a growing threat in the U.S., brushing aside the establishment’s weak excuses. The spin does not fool you—95% say the media is deliberately downplaying the issue, hiding a cultural rot that’s all too real. And the government’s response? A whopping 95% of you call it a disgraceful failure, leaving communities exposed.

Your voices shatter the silence. Why should we trust narratives that dismiss your concerns? With 97% of you warning that anti-Semitism will surge in the years ahead, you’re demanding action and accountability. This is your stand for truth.

You spoke, and Glenn listened. Your bold response sends a message to those who’d rather ignore the problem. Keep raising your voice at Glennbeck.com—your input drives the fight for justice. Take part in the next poll and continue shaping the conversation.

Want to make your voice heard? Check out more polls HERE.

JPMorgan Chase CEO issues dire warning about America's prosperity

Win McNamee / Staff | Getty Images

Jamie Dimon has a grim forecast for America — and it’s not a recession. He sees a fragile nation drifting into crisis while its leaders fight over TikTok.

Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan Chase — one of the most powerful financial institutions on earth — issued a warning the other day. But it wasn’t about interest rates, crypto, or monetary policy.

Speaking at the Reagan National Defense Forum in California, Dimon pivoted from economic talking points to something far more urgent: the fragile state of America’s physical preparedness.

We are living in a moment of stunning fragility — culturally, economically, and militarily. It means we can no longer afford to confuse digital distractions with real resilience.

“We shouldn’t be stockpiling Bitcoin,” Dimon said. “We should be stockpiling guns, tanks, planes, drones, and rare earths. We know we need to do it. It’s not a mystery.”

He cited internal Pentagon assessments showing that if war were to break out in the South China Sea, the United States has only enough precision-guided missiles for seven days of sustained conflict.

Seven days — that’s the gap between deterrence and desperation.

This wasn’t a forecast about inflation or a hedge against market volatility. It was a blunt assessment from a man whose words typically move markets.

“America is the global hegemon,” Dimon continued, “and the free world wants us to be strong.” But he warned that Americans have been lulled into “a false sense of security,” made complacent by years of peacetime prosperity, outsourcing, and digital convenience:

We need to build a permanent, long-term, realistic strategy for the future of America — economic growth, fiscal policy, industrial policy, foreign policy. We need to educate our citizens. We need to take control of our economic destiny.

This isn’t a partisan appeal — it’s a sobering wake-up call. Because our economy and military readiness are not separate issues. They are deeply intertwined.

Dimon isn’t alone in raising concerns. Former Google CEO Eric Schmidt has warned that China has already overtaken the U.S. in key defense technologies — hypersonic missiles, quantum computing, and artificial intelligence to mention a few. Retired military leaders continue to highlight our shrinking shipyards and dwindling defense manufacturing base.

Even the dollar, once assumed untouchable, is under pressure as BRICS nations work to undermine its global dominance. Dimon, notably, has said this effort could succeed if the U.S. continues down its current path.

So what does this all mean?

Christopher Furlong / Staff | Getty Images

It means we are living in a moment of stunning fragility — culturally, economically, and militarily. It means we can no longer afford to confuse digital distractions with real resilience.

It means the future belongs to nations that understand something we’ve forgotten: Strength isn’t built on slogans or algorithms. It’s built on steel, energy, sovereignty, and trust.

And at the core of that trust is you, the citizen. Not the influencer. Not the bureaucrat. Not the lobbyist. At the core is the ordinary man or woman who understands that freedom, safety, and prosperity require more than passive consumption. They require courage, clarity, and conviction.

We need to stop assuming someone else will fix it. The next crisis — whether military, economic, or cyber — will not politely pause for our political dysfunction to sort itself out. It will demand leadership, unity, and grit.

And that begins with looking reality in the eye. We need to stop talking about things that don’t matter and cut to the chase: The U.S. is in a dangerously fragile position, and it’s time to rebuild and refortify — from the inside out.