Al Gore: time to mix spiders and goats

It’s really amazing to think that Al Gore was only a few hundred votes away from being President of the United States. He has turned out to be totally cray cray – the latest evidence when he went on a rant about how we should mix spiders and goats so goats can excrete silk in their milk.

“Good thing is we don’t have to worry about the future because the future is in really good hands because Al Gore is here. And Al Gore has an amazing, some amazing news about, if you need silk pajamas, he’s got it taken care of. Listen to this from the South by Southwest conference this weekend. Al Gore on the future of silk production,” Glenn said.

In one of his typically droll and boring speeches, Gore explained “You can’t farm spiders for a number of reasons, so people are talking the genes from spiders and splicing them into goats…They look like goats, then these spider goats secret silk through their udders.”

Weird.

Glenn did warn that despite the seeming insanity of his statements, Gore’s comments are reflective of what can happen with technology as society approaches the singularity. He noted that Gore’s book, which has a chapter entitled “The Reinvention of Life and Death”, deals with how technology redefines what life and even death can mean when man becomes merged closer with machines.

“Would you please listen to me on the coming singularity?” Glenn said. “The Reinvention of Life and Death. That means people will never die because you can be downloaded. This is the concept. Why? It won’t be hard to unplug grandma because grandma will still be with you.”

“The same kind of people that Al Gore ‑‑ he’s creepier and more dangerous. Keep him on the global warming thing because he’s more dangerous on this stuff. And this is coming. You may not have to deal with it. If you were my age, you’re going to get ‑‑ you’re going to get ‑‑ you’ll be within 20 years of the end of your life if you’re my age and this will happen. You’ll have 20 years. But our children will have their whole lives, and our grandchildren will have their whole lives. Being redefined, life and death, what is life.”

“Oh, please, I’m begin’ ya, please read the Age of Spiritual Machines and The Singularity is Near. They are both by Ray Kurzweil. Please read them. Please know this argument inside and out. Please know what they are talking about. When they are talking about transhumanism. Ray calls it the singularity. I call it the singularity. Al Gore calls it transhumanism. When we transition beyond human.”

“I was reading a story this weekend about the surprising lack of solar storms because we’re supposed to be in, what is it, solar maximus right now? And the last time this happened, it, you know, burned all the telephone wires and everything else in the Twenties. It set all of the telegraphs on fire back in the 1800s. We’re in that cycle again and they are saying that, you know, this is going to be interesting because what’s going to happen. And nobody really is paying attention to this. If it happens, I’m convinced after hearing stuff like this it’s the Tower of Babel. That is the biggest blessing that could happen to us because it wouldn’t be an EMP that would take our country out and destabilize the world. It would take us all out equally. It will scatter us again, confuse our language. We won’t be able to be global and completely united to do crazy things like transform people into something beyond human.”

“Jeez, we don’t even have the human thing down yet.”

Here’s video of Gore talking about spider goats on The Daily Show, just so you know we didn’t just have Pat pretend to be Gore to make him look stupid:

  • http://youtu.be/0iRCvDwF26Q Sam Fisher

    Is Al Gore trying to create Man Bear Pig? http://youtu.be/kqasecwLZXA

  • http://www.artinphoenix.com/gallery/grimm snowleopard (cat folk gallery)

    Al Gore has demonstrated the truth of how insane he and the left fully are anymore.

  • Anonymous

    We were warned about this in the bible.

  • sickandtired

    That man is fricken nuts.

  • http://www.facebook.com/nschoepfer Nicholas Schoepfer

    Is this just a transcript, because otherwise the writing is terrible.

  • crazy betty

    al goreleoni is an alien shapeshifter – reptiian so of course he is for crossing the species barrier.  as in the days of noah…remember noah was the only one left (he and his family) he was perfect in his genealogy – genome.  everyone else’s dna had been corrupted hence the reason for the flood – the nephilim had corrupted human and plant dna and were trying to corrupt human dna so jesus christ could not be born.  corrupting human and plant dna…hmmm… sound familar?  al gore is a nephilim.  creep.  spiders and goats are associated with hell btw.

    pat cracks me up.

  • Larry Sabine

    There was already a brief piece some months back on, I think, Discovery, about a goat farmer who is gene-splicing spider genes with goats because the goat milk then does contain spider silk.  Goats are easier to milk than spiders.  Spider silk is a highly prized substance for various uses, one of which apparently is to make capes for crime fighters (and seriously, it is used for gun scope cross hairs).

  • Larry Sabine

     Bo Diddley caught a spider-goat, to make his pretty baby a Sunday coat…

  • Larry Sabine

     Bo Diddley caught a man-bear-pig, to make his pretty baby a Sunday wig?

  • Anonymous

    Regarding the “solar storm” – this is the lowest peak in solar activity in decades!  Probably not much to worry about for another 11 years at least. The last time solar activity was this low was in the 1875-1933 time period.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for your actual knowledge and scholarship of the situation.  As I didn’t know anything about what you just said, I decided to listen and learn.  That makes you the expert here.

  • Anonymous

    Poor silk worm has been left out.

  • Anonymous

    I can’t think of a way to make fun of Al Gore more than he makes fun of himself, just by simply opening his mouth.  

  • Sandie

    There is a milk product on the market already called “Silk” … it is actually a soy milk.

  • Anonymous

     President Oblameo’ s flies have not picked up on Al “Massage” Gore yet.

  • Sandie

     I remember seeing a program – either on Discovery channel or TLC maybe -  about spider silk being so strong that it would make the most protective bullet proof vest while being ultra light (as bullet proof vests go).

  • crazy betty

    like mithra in the hobbit…

  • crazy betty

    indeed!

  • Mike Stanley

    Spider genes in goats is old news, as is jellyfish in small mammals, etc. 

  • scott

    Now there is a man that I hope has no guns, as he has truly got some mental illness issues.

  • Anonymous

    A lot of people were very angry that a few hanging and pregnant chads prevented Mr. Gore from being President…

    People wanted the insanity even then.

  • Anonymous

    Al “The Polar Bears are Floating Away” Gore loves anything that can spin a web. Reminds him of himself, who he loves and believes in supremely. What a horses ass [no disrespect intended toward horses] !

  • Sandie

    It’s funny how after Al blabbed about the poor polar bears that it was determined that the polar bear population has been increase by leaps and bounds during this “warming” period. His Gorey tales are all just horror stories.

  • Anonymous

    How long before there’s stimulus money for spider-goats?

  • Anonymous

    Why hell yes! Just about every kind of mammal does better in a warmer less harsh environment than a cold hostile one. I’ve also been told that the periods of human history that coincide with the least prosperity have been the so called “mini ice ages”. Just because polar bears eat seals on the ice flow doesn’t mean that’s all they can do. You know as well as me that it’s all about control of the ignorant masses. Al is an evil dude.

  • Anonymous

    Polar bears don’t thrive on the cold anyways.  Like penguins they are simply very well adapted to it and there is a big difference.  A polar bear could freeze to death.  The ice isn’t a polar bear’s lifeline.  His lifeline is the fact that he has enough fir to insulate from it.  Pretty simple stuff that we all know. Humans are the most well adapted to making good decisions, but throw a lil alcohol in us and that goes right out the window.

  • Anonymous

    We’re very close, and if you oppose it you’re a racist.

  • http://www.facebook.com/dean.edwards.1485 Dean Edwards

    Hey, ya know what’s really great about this?
    The goats have EIGHT teats!

    Seriously, Al baby has lost his freaking mind.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_4HAW7OERGSC7VZM72V7IGDJ3B4 Sharmane

    The delusional, bloated, power-sucking Gore is seriously losing it.  How anyone on the planet can take this man seriously is a great mystery.  

  • MarsBarsTru7

    Nothing could go wrong with mixing goat and spider genetics. Nope. I can’t imagine anything going wrong with something like that. I have a snail-llama myself. They’re slow, docile, and low maintenance and the old shells make great lawn ornaments. It’s win-win.

    You know what else we could do? We could mix elephant DNA with human DNA so that humans have trunks. Can you imagine how much productivity would go up if humans had a trunk to use? Oh wait! Better yet, let’s splice human DNA with octopus DNA… Who needs one trunk when you could have a face with 8 arm length tentacles dangling off your chin? How much faster could you type and multi-task then? Just think Davey Jones from Pirates of the Caribbean…or CTHULU!

    C’mon! How can a rational person resist these changes?

    Al, we need you! We need you to take us into the future Al! Maybe we’ll erect a giant statue of you and bow down to it, eh Al? Would that make you happy Mr. Gore?

  • MarsBarsTru7

     … *sigh* …

    If only…

    You see, your comment implies that tax money hasn’t already been spent on things like this (spider-goats). Unfortunately, it has. Just like tax money has been spent on research to develop computer-human brain direct interface (microchips planted in the brain that can access all human memory and thought – enhancing both memory and human brain processing power as well as allowing a human to transmit thought to computers remotely). Stanford University is the leading college in the country on the subject. Look it up. They’re quite proud of themselves.

  • MarsBarsTru7

     … *sigh* …

    If only…

    You see, your comment implies that tax money hasn’t already been
    spent on things like this (spider-goats). Unfortunately, it has. Just
    like tax money has been spent on research to develop computer-human
    brain direct interface (microchips planted in the brain that can access
    all human memory and thought – enhancing both memory and human brain
    processing power as well as allowing a human to transmit thought to
    computers remotely). Stanford University is the leading college in the
    country on the subject. Look it up. They’re quite proud of themselves.
     

  • Anonymous

    I love it when Glenn Beck, the self proclaimed futurist, tries to advise his adoring fans on matters of science. (You know, Glenn just started reading about Nikola Tesla folks–anyone with a decent high school or college science education or interest would have learned about years ago– so who knows what the man is capable of). Cross species and trans-Order genetic splicing has been progressing for what, 25 years now? What is the aim of this basic research? To develop stronger, more disease resistant crops, healthier, more productive livestock and cell llines that can produce disease curing agents. This isnt some left wing agenda–this is Fortune 500 biopharma profits on the line in the future. Now, a discussion of the pros and cons of this issue and the ethical issues associated with it might be interesting and there are merits to the many sides of the debate. If one is opposed to the prolonging of  life due to medicines obtained through this line of research or eating tomatoes genetically altered to be more pesticide and herbicide resistant, good topic. eugenics and the progressives is not what this research is all  about.

    Al Gore is a resident buffoon who for reasons that  completely escape me, still gets airtime. When politico-yokels like him take up the issue (or politico yokels like Beck take up the issue), then it is time to ignore them. They know not of what they speak. 

  • landofaahs

    Al Gore…the modern version of the “Goat gland doctor” of the 30′s.

  • Anonymous

    TO: Al the DICK GORE
    Billion’s and Billion’s of little monkies up your butt to fly you to hell you have got to be part of        Hitler’s blood line  CROOK

  • Anonymous

    ERECT man you could not have picked a better word it’s perfect thanx.

  • MarsBarsTru7

     I don’t want any unless it comes from methane and carbon free spider-goats.

  • Sandie

    It doesn’t come from errrr, spoats? giders? spigoats ? OK spigots!

  • MarsBarsTru7

     It all comes from the same place Al Gore’s thoughts and words come from – Al Gore’s posterior. The man is a genius in rear-end thinking.

    You can quote me on this: The key to our environmental future is in Al Gore’s butt.

  • Sandie

    Gore has it all wrong. Polar bears live on in spite of the ice, not because of it.

  • Sandie

    In that case we are doomed.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_QCEWU5QEBBRUI56NIYMOFXAOXU C

    Gore is one scary bastard.

  • Anonymous

    tinyurl.com/cnaff79

  • http://twitter.com/carvin127 Patrick Roth

    This is actually an old story. Al Gore may be crazy, but he’s telling the truth on this one, at least about the spider silk and goat’s milk. http://phys.org/news194539934.html

  • Chris Johnston

    How crazy is it that Al Gore makes a sarcastic remark about spider-goats and everybody thinks he’s crazy, not realizing that the real crazies are the ones pointing fingers, not knowing that spider-goats exist.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BioSteel

  • Chris Johnston
  • Anonymous

    OMG, that is BRILLIANT. Al Gore is pure frickin genius.

  • Anonymous

    it is wonderful and amazing that in attacking Mr Gore for being “crazy,” you completely misunderstand the simple English of what he is saying. He wasn’t saying we SHOULD mix spiders and goats; he was saying it has ALREADY HAPPENED.

    so looking at that idea as “crazy” is as off-base as nearly everything else you say or do, Mr Beck.

    because, whether or not it’s a crazy idea, Mr Gore is 100% correct that it has ALREADY HAPPENED. Do you even understand the difference between saying something has happened and recommending that people go and do something?

    https://sites.google.com/site/noespidergoat/

    Not only has it happened in practice and for academic research, but that was done to create that thing you love so much: a commercial product.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BioSteel

    I await your retraction/correction just as eagerly as I expect you to get anything else right in the future. Amazing how many of your followers below accept the falsehoods you peddle as 100% accurate. (although a few others have noted that these goats already exist, at least.)

     

  • Guest

     You must be kidding, or you have a problem. … this forum is 41 days old. The ship has already sailed and your team missed boarding time.