GLENNSeptember 24, 2024

Are you brainwashed? How to help someone escape from cult control

We are looking at cult-like behavior. Talking to someone who is deeply involved in a cult or shows signs of brainwashing can be a very delicate and challenging situation. Cults and extreme groups operate through manipulation, often using psychological tactics to isolate members from reality. To navigate this conversation, it’s crucial to understand what brainwashing and cult behavior look like, how cults maintain control, and what might break that “spell.”

How to Know Someone is in a Cult: The Signs

Before engaging in a conversation, it’s important to recognize the signs that someone may be involved in a cult or undergoing brainwashing. Cults typically exhibit certain behaviors and characteristics that separate them from ordinary social groups or religious communities. Here are some red flags:

1. Absolute Authority

One of the clearest signs of cult involvement is the existence of an unquestioned leader or group authority. Cults revolve around a single person or a small group who holds ultimate power, often claiming divine or special knowledge. Members are expected to obey this leader without question, even if their demands are irrational or dangerous.

2. Us vs. Them Mentality

Cults often foster a strong “us vs. them” worldview. The members are conditioned to believe that they are the enlightened ones, while the rest of the world—including family members and friends outside the cult—is misguided or evil. This encourages isolation and discourages interaction with people outside the group.

3. Isolation

Another hallmark of cult behavior is isolation. The cult may physically or emotionally distance members from their families, friends, and anyone who might offer an alternative perspective. This isolation helps the cult maintain control over the narrative and limits the individual’s exposure to outside ideas or criticisms.

4. Extreme Devotion and Sacrifice

Cults often require extreme devotion, including financial sacrifice, abandonment of previous relationships, or total commitment to the group's activities. Members are sometimes asked to give up their personal identity, time, and autonomy in service of the group’s goals.

5. Control of Information

In a cult, information is tightly controlled. Members are discouraged or forbidden from seeking out outside news, literature, or opinions. Critical thinking and questioning are not just discouraged—they’re seen as signs of weakness or betrayal. This control of information keeps members dependent on the group for understanding the world.

6. Fear and Guilt

Fear, shame, and guilt are powerful tools in a cult’s arsenal. Members are often told that leaving the group will result in catastrophic consequences, either in this life or the next. These fears—along with feelings of guilt for questioning the group's beliefs—keep members compliant and loyal, even when they might have doubts.

7. Manipulation Through Love Bombing

At first, cult members are often subject to “love bombing”—a flood of attention, affection, and validation. This is how many cults attract people in the beginning. The constant praise and love make new members feel special and welcome, pulling them deeper into the group. Once inside, though, this affection becomes conditional, based on obedience and adherence to the group's beliefs.

Signs of Brainwashing

Brainwashing often happens gradually. Over time, people in cults are led to reject their previous values and beliefs in favor of the group’s doctrine. Here are the signs someone might be brainwashed:

1. Loss of Critical Thinking

The person no longer questions what they’re told by the group or leader. They repeat ideas and phrases without reflecting on whether they make sense. They accept everything at face value.

2. Black-and-White Thinking

Complex issues are reduced to overly simplistic terms. Everything is either “right” or “wrong,” “good” or “evil,” based on what the group believes. There’s no room for nuance or debate.

3. Parroting Group Doctrine

You’ll often hear them repeating the same slogans, phrases, or talking points that the group uses. Their language becomes rigid, filled with clichés and group-approved terms.

4. Rejection of Dissent

Any suggestion that the group might be wrong or flawed is met with defensiveness, anger, or fear. The person can’t tolerate questioning or challenges to their beliefs and may see any attempt to reason with them as an attack.

5. Changes in Personality

You may notice sudden, drastic changes in their personality, behavior, or values. They might have once been open-minded or independent but now seem rigid, emotionally distant, or overly reliant on the group for approval.

What Do Cults Do to Keep Members from Seeing the Truth?

Cults use a variety of techniques to ensure their members stay loyal and never see the truth about the group’s manipulation. Here are some of the key strategies:

1. Thought-Stopping Techniques

Cults teach members techniques to “stop” any critical thoughts that might arise. This could be repeating a mantra, reciting slogans, or saying a prayer anytime they feel doubt. This thought-stopping process prevents people from thinking independently or critically.

2. Gaslighting

Cults often gaslight their members, making them question their own memories or perceptions. For example, if a member raises a concern, the group may deny that the concern is valid or accuse the person of being irrational, making them doubt their own thoughts and experiences.

3. Emotional Manipulation

By exploiting members’ fears, shame, and guilt, cults keep them emotionally dependent. If someone expresses doubts, the group may accuse them of being sinful, ungrateful, or lacking faith. This emotional pressure reinforces the idea that they can only find safety and acceptance within the group.

4. Creating Dependency

Cults make members dependent on them for basic needs—whether it’s emotional support, a sense of belonging, or even food and shelter. By removing outside resources, they make it much harder for people to leave, even if they want to.

5. Punishment for Non-Compliance

Cults often use punishment—both physical and psychological—to keep people in line. This might be public humiliation, loss of privileges, or shunning. The fear of these punishments prevents members from expressing doubts or leaving the group.

How is the “Spell” Broken?

Breaking someone free from a cult or brainwashing isn’t easy, and it can’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process that often requires patience, empathy, and the right approach. Here are some key steps:

1. Build Trust

Before you can have a meaningful conversation, you need to build or maintain a strong foundation of trust. Cult members are often told that anyone outside the group is an enemy or deceived, so they may be wary. You’ll need to show them that you care about them as a person, not just as someone “in a cult.”

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Instead of confronting them head-on with accusations or trying to "prove them wrong," ask thoughtful, open-ended questions. This encourages them to reflect on their beliefs without feeling attacked. Questions like, “What do you think happens if someone leaves the group?” or “How did you come to believe that?” can open the door to self-reflection.

3. Avoid Arguing or Direct Confrontation

When people are brainwashed, directly challenging their beliefs can make them dig in even deeper. Instead of arguing, try to guide them toward thinking critically by pointing out contradictions or gently exploring other perspectives. Cult members often have doubts—help them feel safe in exploring those doubts.

4. Offer Information Gradually

Instead of overwhelming them with information about the cult’s manipulation or abuses, introduce ideas slowly. Share stories or examples of people who have left similar situations and what led them to question their involvement. Sometimes hearing about others’ experiences can help them see parallels to their own life.

5. Encourage Outside Connections

One of the most powerful tools cults use is isolation. If you can encourage the person to reconnect with family, friends, or the outside world—even in small ways—it can help break the cult’s control. Finding a way to connect with reality outside the group is essential to opening their mind.

6. Be Patient

Breaking free from a cult takes time, often months or even years. People can’t be rushed. They have to come to the realization themselves, and you need to be patient, supportive, and non-judgmental as they slowly start to question the group.

7. Provide a Path Forward

Leaving a cult is incredibly hard—emotionally, socially, and sometimes physically. Many people fear they’ll be alone, without purpose, or rejected by everyone if they leave. Show them that there’s a path forward, that they can find community, purpose, and a life beyond the group.

Conclusion: Cult Deprogramming is an Act of Love

The key to helping someone who’s brainwashed or in a cult is compassion. It’s easy to get frustrated, but remember that they are often victims of psychological manipulation. By building trust, asking the right questions, and being patient, you can create the conditions for them to begin questioning their beliefs. It’s not a quick process, but with time, many people can and do break free.

Could passengers have SAVED Iryna Zarutska?

Surveillance footage of the murder of Ukrainian refugee Iryna Zarutska in Charlotte, NC, reveals that the other passengers on the train took a long time to help her. Glenn, Stu, and Jason debate whether they were right or wrong to do so.

Transcript

Below is a rush transcript that may contain errors

GLENN: You know, I'm -- I'm torn on how I feel about the people on the train.

Because my first instinct is, they did nothing! They did nothing! Then my -- well, sit down and, you know -- you know, you're going to be judged. So be careful on judging others.

What would I have done? What would I want my wife to do in that situation?

STU: Yeah. Are those two different questions, by the way.

GLENN: Yeah, they are.

STU: I think they go far apart from each other. What would I want myself to do. I mean, it's tough to put yourself in a situation. It's very easy to watch a video on the internet and talk about your heroism. Everybody can do that very easily on Twitter. And everybody is.

You know, when you're in a vehicle that doesn't have an exit with a guy who just murdered somebody in front of you, and has a dripping blood off of a knife that's standing 10 feet away from you, 15 feet away from you.

There's probably a different standard there, that we should all kind of consider. And maybe give a little grace to what I saw at least was a woman, sitting across the -- the -- the aisle.

I think there is a difference there. But when you talk about that question. Those two questions are definitive.

You know, I know what I would want myself to do. I would hope I would act in a way that didn't completely embarrass myself afterward.

But I also think, when I'm thinking of my wife. My advice to my wife would not be to jump into the middle of that situation at all costs. She might do that anyway. She actually is a heck of a lot stronger than I am.

But she might do it anyway.

GLENN: How pathetic, but how true.

STU: Yes. But that would not be my advice to her.

GLENN: Uh-huh.

STU: Now, maybe once the guy has certainly -- is out of the area. And you don't think the moment you step into that situation. He will turn around and kill you too. Then, of course, obviously. Anything you can do to step in.

Not that there was much anyone on the train could do.

I mean, I don't think there was an outcome change, no matter what anyone on that train did.

Unfortunately.

But would I want her to step in?

Of course. If she felt she was safe, yes.

Think about, you said, your wife. Think about your daughter. Your daughter is on that train, just watching someone else getting murdered like that. Would you advise your daughter to jump into a situation like that?

That girl sitting across the aisle was somebody's daughter. I don't know, man.

JASON: I would. You know, as a dad, would I advise.

Hmm. No.

As a human being, would I hope that my daughter or my wife or that I would get up and at least comfort that woman while she's dying on the floor of a train?

Yeah.

I would hope that my daughter, my son, that I would -- and, you know, I have more confidence in my son or daughter or my wife doing something courageous more than I would.

But, you know, I think I have a more realistic picture of myself than anybody else.

And I'm not sure that -- I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. I know what I would hope I would do. But I also know what I fear I would do. But I would have hoped that I would have gotten up and at least tried to help her. You know, help her up off the floor. At least be there with her, as she's seeing her life, you know, spill out in under a minute.

And that's it other thing we have to keep in mind. This all happened so rapidly.

A minute is -- will seem like a very long period of time in that situation. But it's a very short period of time in real life.

STU: Yeah. You watch the video, Glenn. You know, I don't need the video to -- to change my -- my position on this.

But at his seem like there was a -- someone who did get there, eventually, to help, right? I saw someone seemingly trying to put pressure on her neck.

GLENN: Yeah. And tried to give her CPR.

STU: You know, no hope at that point. How long of a time period would you say that was?

Do you know off the top of your head?

GLENN: I don't know. I don't know. I know that we watched the video that I saw. I haven't seen past 30 seconds after she --

STU: Yeah.

GLENN: -- is down. And, you know, for 30 seconds nothing is happening. You know, that is -- that is not a very long period of time.

STU: Right.

GLENN: In reality.

STU: And especially, I saw the pace he was walking. He certainly can't be -- you know, he may have left the actual train car by 30 seconds to a minute. But he wasn't that far away. Like he was still in visual.

He could still turn around and look and see what's going on at that point. So certainly still a threat is my point. He has not, like, left the area. This is not that type of situation.

You know, I -- look, as you point out, I think if I could be super duper sexist for a moment here, sort of my dividing line might just be men and women.

You know, I don't know if it's that a -- you're not supposed to say that, I suppose these days. But, like, there is a difference there. If I'm a man, you know, I would be -- I would want my son to jump in on that, I suppose. I don't know if he could do anything about it. But you would expect at least a grown man to be able to go in there and do something about it. A woman, you know, I don't know.

Maybe I'm -- I hope --

GLENN: Here's the thing I -- here's the thing that I -- that causes me to say, no. You should have jumped in.

And that is, you know, you've already killed one person on the train. So you've proven that you're a killer. And anybody who would have screamed and got up and was with her, she's dying. She's dying. Get him. Get him.

Then the whole train is responsible for stopping that guy. You know. And if you don't stop him, after he's killed one person, if you're not all as members of that train, if you're not stopping him, you know, the person at the side of that girl would be the least likely to be killed. It would be the ones that are standing you up and trying to stop him from getting back to your daughter or your wife or you.

JASON: There was a -- speaking of men and women and their roles in this. There was a video circling social media yesterday. In Sweden. There was a group of officials up on a stage. And one of the main. I think it was health official woman collapses on stage. Completely passes out.

All the men kind of look away. Or I don't know if they're looking away. Or pretending that they didn't know what was going on. There was another woman standing directly behind the woman passed out.

Immediately springs into action. Jumps on top. Grabs her pant leg. Grabs her shoulder. Spins her over and starts providing care.

What did she have that the other guys did not? Or women?

She was a sheepdog. There is a -- this is my issue. And I completely agree with Stu. I completely agree with you. There's some people that do not respond this way. My issue is the proportion of sheepdogs versus people that don't really know how to act. That is diminishing in western society. And American society.

We see it all the time in these critical actions. I mean, circumstances.

There are men and women, and it's actually a meme. That fantasize about hoards of people coming to attack their home and family. And they sit there and say, I've got it. You guys go. I'm staying behind, while I smoke my cigarette and wait for the hoards to come, because I will sacrifice myself. There are men and women that fantasize of block my highway. Go ahead. Block my highway. I'm going to do something about it. They fantasize about someone holding up -- not a liquor store. A convenience store or something. Because they will step in and do something. My issue now is that proportion of sheepdogs in society is disappearing. Just on statistical fact, there should be one within that train car, and there were none.

STU: Yeah. I mean --

JASON: They did not respond.

STU: We see what happens when they do, with Daniel Penny. Our society tries to vilify them and crush their existence. Now, there weren't that many people on that train. Right?

At least on that car. At least it's limited. I only saw three or four people there, there may have been more. I agree with you, though. Like, you see what happens when we actually do have a really recent example of someone doing exactly what Jason wants and what I would want a guy to do. Especially a marine to step up and stop this from happening. And the man was dragged by our legal system to a position where he nearly had to spend the rest of his life in prison.

I mean, I -- it's insanity. Thankfully, they came to their senses on that one.

GLENN: Well, the difference between that one and this one though is that the guy was threatening. This one, he killed somebody.

STU: Yeah. Right. Well, but -- I think -- but it's the opposite way. The debate with Penny, was should he have recognize that had this person might have just been crazy and not done anything?

Maybe. He hadn't actually acted yet. He was just saying things.

GLENN: Yeah. Well --

STU: He didn't wind up stabbing someone. This is a situation where these people have already seen what this man will do to you, even when you don't do anything to try to stop him. So if this woman, who is, again, looks to be an average American woman.

Across the aisle. Steps in and tries to do something. This guy could easily turn around and just make another pile of dead bodies next to the one that already exists.

And, you know, whether that is an optimal solution for our society, I don't know that that's helpful.

In that situation.

THE GLENN BECK PODCAST

Max Lucado on Overcoming Grief in Dark Times | The Glenn Beck Podcast | Ep 266

Disclaimer: This episode was filmed prior to the assassination of Charlie Kirk. But Glenn believes Max's message is needed now more than ever.
The political world is divided, constantly at war with itself. In many ways, our own lives are not much different. Why do we constantly focus on the negative? Why are we in pain? Where is God amid our anxiety and fear? Why can’t we ever seem to change? Pastor Max Lucado has found the solution: Stop thinking like that! It may seem easier said than done, but Max joins Glenn Beck to unpack the three tools he describes in his new book, “Tame Your Thoughts,” that make it easy for us to reset the way we think back to God’s factory settings. In this much-needed conversation, Max and Glenn tackle everything from feeling doubt as a parent to facing unfair hardships to ... UFOs?! Plus, Max shares what he recently got tattooed on his arm.

THE GLENN BECK PODCAST

Are Demonic Forces to Blame for Charlie Kirk, Minnesota & Charlotte Killings?

This week has seen some of the most heinous actions in recent memory. Glenn has been discussing the growth of evil in our society, and with the assassination of civil rights leader Charlie Kirk, the recent transgender shooter who took the lives of two children at a Catholic school, and the murder of Ukrainian refugee Iryna Zarutska, how can we make sense of all this evil? On today's Friday Exclusive, Glenn speaks with BlazeTV host of "Strange Encounters" Rick Burgess to discuss the demon-possessed transgender shooter and the horrific assassination of Charlie Kirk. Rick breaks down the reality of demon possession and how individuals wind up possessed. Rick and Glenn also discuss the dangers of the grotesque things we see online and in movies, TV shows, and video games on a daily basis. Rick warns that when we allow our minds to be altered by substances like drugs or alcohol, it opens a door for the enemy to take control. A supernatural war is waging in our society, and it’s a Christian’s job to fight this war. Glenn and Rick remind Christians of what their first citizenship is.