RADIO

Did the far-left COVER UP this AWFUL crime to push abortion?

While speaking about abortion access last week, President Biden told the story of a 10-year-old girl in Ohio who was forced to travel across state lines to receive an abortion after a horrific sexual assault. But we now know there’s MUCH more to the story that the far-left likely never wanted you to know. Glenn is joined by investigative journalist Megan Fox, who provides details that suggest the unimaginable: The far-left may have COVERED UP the truth in order to push their pro-abortion agenda. There are still several details yet to be released, Glenn says, but it is TIME FOR ANSWERS.

Transcript

Below is a rush transcript that may contain errors

GLENN: But let's start with the rapist.

The rape of the 10-year-old girl that the president was speaking about, when he was talking about the dangers of Roe vs. Wade. He told the story about a 10-year-old girl in Ohio, that had to cross state lines into Indiana to be able to get an abortion, after she was raped. Now, that story didn't sit right, with people.

Because there were no names involved. And I'm not talking about the name of the 10-year-old. There was only one anonymous source.

And so people started, especially the people at PJ Media. Started asking the questions, well, wait a minute. Wait a minute. We need more than one source.

And so they went for criminal records. They wanted to see, if a rapist, had been charged in the state of Ohio. Raping a 10-year-old girl. Nope!

No record of it. Okay. So we go to police. Then we go to the state. And, in fact, the state of Ohio, the attorney general says, I don't know anything about this. This would be a very big thing, if there were a rapist of a 10-year-old girl. I don't know anything about. So there had been no charges filed. Nothing. Nothing.

Well, we find out now, that probably, the reason nothing was done, is because the rapist is an illegal alien. His name is Gershon Fuentes. He was arrested after police say he confessed to raping a child on multiple occasions. He's been charged now with rape.

And at first, the Columbus Dispatch said, yeah. He might be an illegal alien. Yeah. He is an illegal alien. He was in the US, unlawfully.

You know, he had been caught. He had been caught.

And they said, hey. You're not supposed to be here.

And he's like, what?

Me no speak English. And they said, well, here. Here's a paper. You've got to report back. And check in with us. Because we're going to -- and he said, oh, I speak that English, sure. I'll get in touch with you, wink, wink, nod, nod. He obviously didn't. So what happened? Apparently, this guy was working either near or, you know, at the child's house. We don't know all of the details yet. But here's -- here's what we do know, according to an Indianapolis obstetrician gynecologist.

She said she had spoken to a child abuse doctor in Ohio, in scant detail.

So this -- this gynecologist object stet transition meets with this girl. Now, here's the real problem. You -- you have to file a report. If you're a doctor, and you have a rape, especially of a child. You have to report it to the state. This doctor that seems to be the source of this story. This doctor didn't report it. It

Now, the state law says, could have an abortion. So why did this activist send this 10-year-old across state lines?

Now it's not only Ohio that is looking into that. It is also Indiana. Indiana is now looking into this doctor. And wondering why this doctor. Did send the child to Indiana. And not inform the police.

Well, we find out now, that the doctor is an abortion activist. Did this doctor, not report this rape to a child? And send this child unnecessarily across state lines, just to make the point and have the story that the president could give?

We don't have all of the details yet. But believe me, they will come out. You're probably not going to see this story in mainstream media. They report it on the rape of the 10-year-old, over and over and over again.

But now that we know, it's an illegal alien. Now we know the doctors is an activist. Now we know that the doctor didn't report the rape. We know that the doctor is a -- a -- an abortion activist. I doubt you'll be hearing much about this story, at least with the mainstream media.

Thanks to Megan Fox at PJ Media, she's the one who really was really relentless on this, and broke this story. So we're trying to get her on. She'll be on with us in about 15, 20 minutes. She'll give you the whole story.

This little girl. By the way, when the police finally found out about this rape, no thanks to the doctor, once they finally found out about this rape. They went in, and arrested the guy.

He -- let's see -- see if I can find this. She'll tell you this story.

The police department report, blah, blah, blah. The perpetrator may have actually been living with or at least near the victim until his arrest.

We don't know for sure, but the scene of the crime was Fuentes' apartment, and his lawyer told the judge at a hearing on Wednesday, that Fuentes had an address, where he could live, that was not the same location as the 10-year-old. Note the use of the word could.

The suspect could live separate from the victims. Okay. So wait a minute.

Was the 10-year-old child living in the same house with the rapist?

And how long was that going on, after she got her abortion. Was she going back to the rapist?

This is -- this is -- by the way, one other thing on the doctor, HIPAA. She didn't report it. She instead, reported it to the press.

She's now also being investigated in Ohio, for a violation of HIPAA. A 10-year-old. And tell me these people care.

PAT: Yeah. This douche bag is 27, by the way. Twenty-seven years old. Shouldn't be in the country at all. And people will say, well, there's plenty of rapists who are born and raised right here. Yeah, this one wasn't. This didn't need to happen. We don't need other people's rapists as well as our own. We don't need that.

And so, this thing is a mess, and I think you're right. It's even worse than if it hadn't happened at all. Despicable. Despicable.

GLENN: Yeah, because now it shows the complete act of compassion for the actual 10-year-old.

PAT: Uh-huh. They don't care.

GLENN: They were using this 10-year-old. They didn't care. They tried to make it look like, oh, they were so compassionate. Think about this 10-year-old. As Joe Biden said, can you imagine think that 10-year-old? Can you imagine being that 10-year-old, and realize that your continued rape was used by the president, and they did nothing. They did nothing. They sent you across state lines, to have a procedure done, that should have, could have been done in Ohio.

I mean, I think most Americans agree with life of the mother, rape or incest. You can -- you can split hairs on this. And it gets down to a very narrow group of people. I am for those exceptions, if they're legitimate, and I feel bad about it. I shouldn't be for those exceptions, I think. But I just can't do it myself. I couldn't imagine saying to my daughter, who had been raped, you know, hey, this is the decision, it's the only decision. I just can't imagine.

PAT: And especially when it's a 10-year-old. You can't ask a 10-year-old to carry a baby to term. Right? I mean, I don't think I could do that.

GLENN: No. Yeah. So here we are with a 10-year-old, where everybody agrees, and the state of Ohio also has those exceptions. And these monsters -- these absolute monsters don't report the rape, then they go out and give all this information to the press and to the president. When I say all this information, I mean just about the kid having to go across state lines, which is a lie. We are dealing with such evil. Such evil. But it makes sense. I don't know if you know the history of abortion. That there is a birth of abortion. Modern day excuses on abortion. And I'll give it to you here in 60 seconds. Stand by.

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GLENN: It was the Marquis de Sade. Is that right? Is that how you pronounce it? Pat, I know you took some French. S-A-D-E.

PAT: Marquis de Sade.

GLENN: Yeah. Marquis de Sade. He was a really nasty, cruel, and proudly deviant. He did not believe in God. And he used his godless hypothesis, to reach the most radical conclusions. He is the father of sadomasochism.

The marquee preached pleasure as the ultimate value. He said, I have -- listen to this. This is a quote. I have destroyed everything in my heart, that might have interfered with my pleasure.

And destroy he did. Not only in his own heart, but in others. He was notorious for picking up prostitutes, imprisoning them, and then violently raping and torturing them. He was so depraved, that even the French thought, okay. This guy is really spooky.

They had him locked away. While he was in prison, he wrote a how-to book for the West. Using fiction to instruct his readers on how they could become sexually depraved and like it. His books were generally considered graphically, and repulsively considered pornographic. But Wikipedia said, they're now considered sociopolitical dramas. Oh!

So one of his most popular works is the philosophy of the bedroom. And this is what this evil dude wrote. It is impossible to demand of any individual, that he become a father or a mother against his will. We are currently the masters of this more sell of flesh.

However it be animated. As we are the -- as we are of the excrements that we eliminate through our bowels, because the one and the other are our own. And because we are absolute proprietors, of what emanates from us.

So he is saying, we take crap, and we have the power to do that. Because it's in my body. My body, my choice. He then writes, if however, the misfortune of pregnancy does occur, without yourself having been at fault. Without yourself being at fault.

That would be rape and incest. But if you were an active participant in it, you are at fault.

Notify me within the first seven or eight weeks. Even -- even the guy who started S and M said, you know, go to find the first seven and eight weeks. Because then it just gets crazy. Notify me in the first seven and eight weeks, and have it very neatly remedied.

Dread not infanticide. The crime is imaginary. We are always mistress of what we carry in our womb.

So what is he saying there? If you get pregnant, don't worry about it. We can just neatly get rid of it. It's just a clump of cells. There's no reason to feel bad about disposing of this. Well, this sounds almost exactly what Planned Parenthood uses on women.

This is the guy, who started the transition from abortion as an unspeakable act. To abortion as a social norm. By the way, I'm not the first person to say any of this. An article in the NIH is National Library of Medicine. Says the publishing of the philosophy of the bedroom is from where the medical and social acceptance of abortion can be dated.

PAT: Wow.

GLENN: So the worst masochist. Sadomasochist. Is credited by the National Institute of Health. As the guy, who says, the medical and social acceptance came from there! Came from him!

He laughed in the face of God. He said, the imbeciles who believed in God, persuaded that immediately an embryo begins to mature, a little soul emanation of God, comes straight away to animated these fools, he said. Because there is no God. So there is no value to life. Thus, life is really valueless. He destroyed in his heart, what inhibited his pleasure.

So destroy the idea that that is a child in there. So you can continue to do whatever you want.

It's your right to destroy what inhibits you.

Just this week, they were having a conversation about the value of life. They wouldn't say that the baby had any value.

Because the mothers choice of whatever she wanted to do. That's paramount.

She has the right to destroy what inhibits them.

We really need to understand, how monstrous this is. What a monster, it was, that made this popular. And what monsters we're becoming. Back in a minute.
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(OUT AT 8:28AM)

GLENN: The author of the book, Believe Evidence an investigative journalist for PJ Media, Megan Fox joins us now. Megan is really the woman that took it upon herself to find out the story of this 10-year-old victim of rape. That had at that at first we thought might be a hoax. That would have become a dream come true, if our president were only lying about it. As she found out, the story is much, much darker. Welcome to the program. Hi, Megan.

MEGAN: Hi, Glenn. What a fun surprise to remember from you this morning. Thank you for having me.

GLENN: Oh, well, thank you so much for the hard work. I mean, this had to be agonizing, confusing, and at the end, just depressing on what has gone on in the state of Ohio, with this -- with this poor 10-year-old girl.

MEGAN: Yeah. It has -- it has been. And, in fact, I had no idea that this story was as huge as it really is.

It would have been much better had they been making it up. My brain didn't even go to, they're using a real victim, to push a pro-Roe agenda.

I didn't even go there. Because that was too awful to consider, and yet, here we are. And what I considered, when I saw this one source, poorly sourced, poorly vetted story in the Indianapolis star was, there's something else here. No one cares about a rapist who is on the loose, apparently, in Ohio. And why aren't we asking those questions? Why aren't we asking, who raped this child, and can we get him prosecuted? Can we get him arrested?

And you know what really bothers me, and what question is still out there, top of my list is, well, there's two. One, why did the police in Columbus tell the Washington Post, Glenn Kessler, there was no report. They also told the attorney general, there was no report. So then the attorney general goes on Fox News on Monday, and says, I can't find a report. And on Tuesday, they have an arrest?

There was a report, Glenn. It was put in on June 22nd. So who was keeping it from the press and the -- the attorney general?

GLENN: So wait. Oh, my gosh. So this is a bit deeper now.

So now we think, not only was the doctor violating HIPAA. Lying to the child and saying, you have to go to another state. And unnecessarily sending him to another state.

Did the -- did the doctor report the crime? And if so, then the police investigated, but didn't arrest the guy, and the police are involved in the cover-up?

MEGAN: Well, I don't know. We can't get answers from the police, Glenn. They won't talk. So I put in a FOIA, last week to the Columbus police, asking for this very case. Do you have an investigation that involves a 10-year-old being raped?

They did not respond to me. But Glenn Kessler got them on the phone. And they told him no. The attorney general -- general -- attorney general Yost of Ohio, asked around to all his prosecutors and sheriffs. They told him, there was no report.

And then -- now, we have the report. I have it on my desk. And the police have this since June 22. June 22nd. So they have -- they knew about this rape. And they didn't arrest this guy until the 12th. After the Fox News blitz. I just find the timing highly suspicious. And I want to know how the investigation went. And that's what I'm still digging into. Now, I don't know if Caitlin Bernard. I don't know if she reported to the Indianapolis Police, her mandated report.

That's another FOIA that I have, that's waiting to be returned by Indiana government. So they haven't confirmed that. Maybe she did. It appears according to the investigation, that she cooperated in some way. Because they did get the fetal remains for DNA testing. So that means, she had to either have been given a warrant for that. Or she voluntarily provided it. I don't know.

She won't answer my question. When I asked about these directly, yesterday. She sent me a link to the Columbus Dispatch article, that just details the arrest of this guy. She still won't answer directly, what role she had, in helping this investigation or not.

GLENN: Who gave this story to the left?

MEGAN: That is a very good question. And I also have questions about why the only reporter in the courtroom yesterday. For the arraignment of the illegal alien, who raped this child, more than once, and impregnated her, was a reporter from a Ghanic (phonetic) corporation media conglomerate. That's the same conglomerate that owns the Indianapolis Star. Why are they the only people who had any access to any of this information. And when the Washington Post tried to reach out to get them to corroborate their story, they wouldn't -- they said that their reporting was clear.

But it wasn't clear. They had a one source story, with no backing, documentation. No mention of a police report. And now, the only reporter, that was tipped off, to the courtroom proceeding yesterday, was somebody at their company.

That's interesting.

GLENN: Mention, boy, this is -- this is a story, that when you're done with, you should get a Pulitzer. You won't. But you should get a Pulitzer for.

When you -- when you're looking at this story -- first of all, did -- did the girl cross state lines, into Indiana? She did, to have that abortion, correct?

MEGAN: Yes. And we need to know why. Because Ohio would have allowed that abortion. I've read the law. I've had it confirmed by Ohio legal analysts. Attorney general himself has confirmed it.

The emergency section of the law specifically says, that this physician can make a good-faith judgment on the life and safety. Health and safety, in an emergency situation. And this clearly, clearly would be -- would fall under that category. So we need to know why.

GLENN: Correct.

MEGAN: She was refrain Ohio to Indiana. Was it for the story? That's my guess. My guess is -- and this is just a guess. This is what journalists do. You know, I'm getting a lot of flak for, oh, you thought it was a hoax.

It is a hoax. There's something wrong here. And if you can't see it, I'm trying to point it out. This whole thing, this story was not, that Roe was somehow, causing little girls to be denied abortions. Because she would never have been denied an abortion in Ohio. The story is that illegal aliens are raping kids. And all the left cares about is that they can get abortion.

That's insane.

GLENN: So we know that this -- this doctor, that the girl apparently went to first. She's an activist. An abortion activist. Right?

MEGAN: Actually, she's the second doctor. We don't know who the first doctor is. The girl went to a doctor in Ohio. There was a consultations that happened in Ohio. After the police were informed. So the police get informed on the 22nd. The family takes the child to a Ohio doctor, on the 28th, or 29th. That doctor consults with the family, and then calls Dr. Bernard. Well, we don't know who that doctor is. They won't be release the name. So I also can't check to see if the doctor made a mandated report. It doesn't matter, I don't think, if that doctor is not aware, that doctor has to make a report. She called Caitlin Bernard, or he. I don't know who the doctor is. Called Caitlin Bernard. Bernard then arranged for the child to come to Indianapolis, have the abortion there.

The police were then given, or obtained somehow. Because it's not clear how.

The DNA from the fetal remains. Then they're now checking that with the arrestee, who they say confessed.

And they're checking that against him. And also, the siblings. I guess they're just trying to rule out the siblings. I can't figure out why they would test it against the siblings, unless they would want to rule it out.

GLENN: We -- we also have a situation that seemed pretty fuzzy yesterday. Where the guy who was arrested, his attorney, said he does have a place where he could live. Away from the victim. So was he living with the victim, up until what, yesterday? Day before?

MEGAN: Yeah. That hasn't been confirmed, but it sure sounds like it. Because if during the -- there is somewhere, you should let him out on bond. Because we can put him somewhere, that is not with the child. Does seem to suggest that he was living in the same -- at the same house. I don't know. Maybe it was an apartment.

GLENN: Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait a minute. Hold it. I need to understand this.

The police were notified, that there had been a rape of a 10-year-old. She goes across state lines. She has an abortion. It is reported by the president, in a campaign, to say how evil the Supreme Court is.

At the same time he's doing that, the police have not arrested a guy. In fact, released him back possibly into the same home, with the 10-year-old victim. Do I have that right?

MEGAN: Yes. Now, let's -- let's -- let's also say this though. Here's one more detail that was in the court records. Let's give the police the benefit of the doubt, that they did not know who the rapist was on the 22nd. The details of -- the details of the report say that on July 6th, is when the child told the police, that this is the person who did it.

So we don't know if anybody else told them before July 6. But the child told them on July 6th. But that still leaves six whole days, when there was not an arrest. After the police knew, that this was the rapist. So there are questions, here, Glenn. Questions that should be answered. Questions the press should have asked in the beginning. This was never about, can a 10-year-old get an abortion?

It is about, who raped a 10-year-old child. For God's sake!

Why do I have to do this work, Glenn, for the media? Why do I have to say, me, an independent journalist out here, who nobody returns my phone calls. You know, when the Washington Post calls the Columbus police, they pick up the phone. They don't do that for me. So, you know, people like ABC and NBC and Indianapolis Star. They have so much more clout with getting answers than I do. I'm out here struggling on my own, to try and get these answers.

I did the media to remember what their job is. I reminds them, that they did no legwork on this story. And as soon as they figured out, that they were being embarrassed on a national stage, they suddenly did their job. And guess what happened? Now there's a rapist behind bars. That's what should have happened in the very first reporting of this story.

GLENN: It should have happened before the girl had an abortion, even. I mean, that seemed to me, to be the priority. Stop the rapist. Now, make sure the girl is safe. And then, let's carry out the procedure. The abortion, on this 10-year-old. I mean, it's insane. Will you do me a favor, Megan?

I'm kind of well-known in Ohio. If you don't get somebody returning your phone calls, will you let me know? Because I can guarantee you, they will return your phone calls, if they know I'm about to explain to all of Ohio and America, who is not picking up their phone. Would you allow me to help you with that?

MEGAN: Well, it's the Columbus police Cannon now that won't be respond to my FOIAs.

GLENN: Won't respond to your FOIA. Wow. That's interesting. Who is it that you're dealing with there?

MEGAN: Well, they just make you send an email to their -- you know, it's like a request email line. It's no particular person.

GLENN: Uh-huh.

MEGAN: And like -- it goes to the public records officer. Or whatever. But that's --

GLENN: Will you do me a favor? Get me the name of the public records officer, and get me the name of the chief of police, and we'll -- and we'll make sure somebody is returning your phone call. Will you do that for me?

MEGAN: Glenn, I appreciate that.

GLENN: You know, hang up the phone --

MEGAN: I will. But one more thing. Columbus -- this is very important.

GLENN: Yeah.

MEGAN: Columbus is a sanctuary city. Is this problem with the police not communicating and the arrests not being made until this huge national, you know, blitz went on. Is that because they weren't going to do anything about this? Because they couldn't hold a guy, because they don't honor ICE holds, because it's a sanctuary city? There's a much bigger story here, Glenn. And I would love your help getting to the bottom of it. Because I need all the help I can get.

GLENN: You do anything -- anything you need from me, you have. And I don't need -- you -- whatever I can do. Off-air. On-air. To help. You'll get to the bottom of the story. You will. Don't give up. Thank you so much, Megan. You bet.

And thank you to everyone from PJ Media for the fine work they're doing there. And Columbus. And Columbus police. You're on -- you're on notice. I think we have a few Ohio listeners, that would like to know, what the hell is going on. In their own community.

And you might want to -- I mean, I'll give you some people to call here, shortly, but you might, if you're listening in the -- and you're in Columbus, and you work for the police.

You might want to call, and say, hey. We should call Megan Fox back. Before -- before just whoop ass is opened up.

TV

The Dark Truth Behind Queer Theory & Gender ‘Affirmation’ For Children | Liz Wheeler & Glenn Beck

In this explosive conversation, Glenn Beck and Liz Wheeler expose the disturbing roots of gender ideology and queer theory — and how these radical ideas are directly targeting children. From the shocking origins of queer theory, where pedophilia and child pornography were openly defended, to Planned Parenthood’s new role as one of the largest distributors of transgender hormone therapy, the truth is undeniable: this movement is not about freedom or equality, but about dismantling families, corrupting innocence, and profiting off of our children’s pain. What we are witnessing is nothing less than a satanic ideology dressed up as compassion — and it’s spreading like wildfire through schools, culture, and medicine. Parents, you need to hear this. The time to protect your children and fight back is NOW.

Watch the full episode HERE

RADIO

Glenn's "secret" to conquering the JFK fitness test

President Trump recently signed an executive order to reinstate the Presidential Fitness Test and the media is in a frenzy. But Glenn and Stu look back at the history of these tests, including JFK’s version of the Test that seems IMPOSSIBLE for modern Americans. But Glenn has a secret reason for why he’s confident in his pull-up abilities…

Transcript

Below is a rush transcript that may contain errors

GLENN: What is the -- what is the new physical -- the president's physical fitness, you know, plan?

STU: Well, the thing that RFK Jr and Hegseth were rolling out the other day. I don't know if it was the full test or anything, but they were issuing a challenge to America, to be able to do 100 pushups and 50 pullups within five minutes.

GLENN: That's crazy.

STU: Thank you! That struck you as also crazy.

I don't think there's ever been a time in my life, that I could do that. Let alone now with shoulder problems. And much too much weight.

GLENN: All right. But that was before I needed this walker.

STU: I don't think there was a time in my 20s or my teens, that I could do that. But that -- in five minutes? Fifty pullups?
GLENN: Both of them in 5 minutes.
STU: Yeah, both of them. So it's not like 100 pushups in five minutes. It's both tasks within five minutes.

GLENN: No. No. That's not true.

STU: RFK Jr. is just doing it in jeans.

GLENN: Yeah, well, RFK, he's -- he's a weirdo. I mean, he is. Come on. When it comes to fitness, he's a weirdo.
STU: Yes.
GLENN: I mean, he's done this his whole life. He's like 800 years old. He can still do it.

STU: Yes. Depressive, I will say.

GLENN: I don't know. He's a sex machine.

STU: Oh. That's been a problem for him. Yes, that's been an issue in his life. Yes.

GLENN: Okay. All right. Go ahead.

STU: Separate from the president's physical fitness test.

GLENN: Right.

STU: But, I mean, they don't, they don't really think we're going to do that, right?
Like, I mean, how long would that take you to do?

STU: I think for me, it would take a good month. I think a month, I could probably get two pullups a day. That would get me around, a little over 50. So I could do that. Plus, the pushups. A solid month, I could get that done.

GLENN: You could do more than two a day. You could do more than two a day.

STU: You know, Glenn, I've got to say. I think -- I will throw a number out there. No science behind this, so just as a guestimate.

I would say 40 percent of the population can't do any pullups. Maybe 30 percent. Thirty percent of the population can do exactly zero pullups. Precisely zero, so an infinite amount of time would be a correct answer for a third of the population.

GLENN: I think you're -- I think you're being -- I think you're being a little too optimistic. I think it's closer to 40 or 50. I think it's closer to 40 or 50. Maybe 60 percent.

STU: Right! Pushups are one thing. I mean, I think almost anyone can do a pushup. One --

GLENN: You can do a pushup. Yes. Yes.

STU: Singular pushup. And if you can do one, you can wait long enough, to do a second one.
And at some point, the hundred gets done. That's not the case with pullups. Pullups, you can sit there and think about how much you want to do a pullup for a really long time. But that doesn't make a pullup happen. If you've got a certain amount of weight on you. You're not doing a pullup. It's not occurring.

GLENN: I have no idea, how many pullups I can do.

STU: I have an exact number of pullups, you can do.

GLENN: Do you? You think so?

STU: Yeah. Yeah. I have the exact number. I have to calculate -- AI has been running a report on me. It came up with zero.

GLENN: Right. Right. Really?
I can do. I mean, this is so pathetic. Listen to this. I bet I could do three. You know, you could do three.

STU: In a row? Proper form.

GLENN: What do you mean in a row?

STU: I mean, holding on to the bar, without letting go, you're doing three. There's no way. I don't think so.

GLENN: I think I could do. Well, with proper form, I don't know about that. I don't know about that.

STU: I'm not saying it has to look pretty. You have to get your chin up above the bar. It can't be one of those things, where you're a quarter of the way up there.

GLENN: So I can do one and rest for ten minutes. I could do another one.

I think I can do that.

STU: If you -- I'm not saying, you jump up, and you pull yourself up as you're pulling up. Full hang --

GLENN: See, you may not know this.

But you know what, I've done the DNA test. Have you ever done the DNA test that tells you all about your genes and everything else? Mine came back with something remarkable, and I have to share. You might feel bad, next.
(laughter)

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STU: Coming up next, Glenn attempts live pullups on the air. Stay tuned!
(OUT AT 8:29 AM)

GLENN: You know no idea what who you're dealing with. No. You don't have any idea who you're dealing with here.

I got my DNA test back like 10 years ago. And we all -- we all took it, because we were looking for things. And so we all took it. My DNA test came back, and everybody in the family, their test made total sense. Like, oh, yeah. That makes...

Then we read mine. We have to find -- I have to find. See if Tania has it still. We should have had it framed. I swear to you, they -- they mixed me up with somebody else.

Somebody else is like, wait a minute. I'm this pathetic? Mine came out and said, you have the muscular structure of a -- of a -- something like a -- an elite athlete. You have the abilities and agility and everything else of an elite athlete. And I'm like, there's not a chance. I don't have any of that!

I don't even know if I have muscles. I have to check once in a while, and go, do I have muscles still?

Doctor is like, I don't know. Can I? Ask just press against my hand on the leg. I don't know.

You know, I don't know how to do that exactly. So --

STU: You sure it said elite athlete and not elephant? I mean, if they misspelled it.

GLENN: It was.

I was having eye problems at the time.

STU: No!

GLENN: I mean, we read it. And I was like Tania, I believe that for Tania.

Maybe they switched me and Tania. Because Tania is really strong. She'll kick your butt.

She works out every day. All of that. Me? Never. Never.

And it kind of makes me wonder, when I get to the other side, and the Lord went, okay.

So what did you do with your life again?

Because I gave this incredible body, and you wasted it the whole time.

And I'm like, you should have been more clear, okay?

You should have been more clear. I -- maybe I could have played basketball. But I tried once. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing. It was like sixth grade. And I'll never live -- I don't even want to think about my time on a basketball court. Okay? So don't -- don't start with me. You should have made it a little clearer. When I first started to do stuff. And I think that's fair. I think that's a fair argument. In my defense. In my defense, Your Honor, God, you should have made it a little more clear.

STU: Yeah. I mean, if they really wanted us to do this, then the 11th Commandment is 50 pushups, and -- or, 50 pullups and 100 pushups, right?

Like, put it in a commandment if you really want us to do it. You have to be more specific, we're Americans.

GLENN: Okay. So let me give you the top of the list for the JFK Presidential Fitness Test. Okay? This is what you had to do in high school. In high school.

Thirty-four pullups. Bar dips: Fifty-two. What's -- because I believe I did that. A long time. And I don't recommend it.

STU: It's not a barhop.

GLENN: Oh, it's -- oh, bar dips. Okay. Okay. All right.

Bar dips: 52. Handstand pushups: Fifty. What are handstands?

STU: Oh, my God. Handstands.

GLENN: I can't even stand on my hands. Is that I'm doing a handstand and a push up? Because that's not happening. You're not human.

STU: Yeah. You're balancing yourself on your hands. Your feet are above your hands on the wall. Like a wall. And you're doing --

GLENN: Oh, so you're balancing yourself. That makes it a little easier. Still impossible.

But a little easier.

GLENN: Impossible. You could do precisely zero of those.

Aright. So you had to do 50 handstand pushups.

Or one arm -- 30 -- no, sir.

Twenty-six one-arm burpees in 30 seconds. Is that a one-armed push up?

STU: No. Well, you're bracing your yourself like you're about to begin a pushup in a burpee with only one arm, which that's not that difficult.

But then you're doing. Then you're like, you move your feet towards your hands. And then you jump up in the air basically. And then you do it repeatedly.

GLENN: No, no, no. That's ridiculous. No.

STU: There's a law of gravity. You're not supposed to violate it. If it was a recommendation of gravity, then maybe jumping would be appropriate. But it's not. Follow the law.

GLENN: In 48 seconds, you had to do a 3300-yard shuttle. Now, I've been to the airport. I think I've done a 3300-yard shuttle, but it depends on who is driving. You know.

STU: Yeah.

GLENN: Rope climb. Try this. Rope climb. Twenty feet, hands only! Sit start.

STU: That's what I remember from the president's physical fitness test. And I remember looking at that rope, like, no chance I could get up that thing.

GLENN: I remember looking up at that thing. Humiliation. Humiliation is coming my way. I'll never kiss a girl, because that ain't happening. I'll get maybe 10 feet up. Maybe. Maybe.

STU: And you were right for 24 years from that time, approximately.

GLENN: Agility run, 17 seconds. Extension pressups, what? What?

I'm sorry. Why am I so tired reading this?

Extension pressups. What's an extension pressup, 8-inch? You had to do 100 of them.

STU: Let's see. Exercise. An exercise for low-back pain involving lying on your stomach and pressing your upper body up with your arms while keeping your hips relaxed and down on the mat.

GLENN: Oh, I could do that know. 8 inches.

STU: The last part of it, relaxing down on the mat.
GLENN: That's what my doctor says I should be doing. What?

STU: I can do relaxed and down on the mat. That part of it --

GLENN: Yeah. I could do that -- I'm the only guy. I took yoga for a while, like three weeks. My wife is like, yoga. You could do yoga. Let's just do yoga together.

I did. And the yoga instructor said to me. Because we were doing a plank.

STU: Yeah.

GLENN: And she came and all I remember her waking me up. And saying, I think you're the only person I've ever -- ever taught that fell asleep in yoga. And I'm like, it's just so relaxing. Just let me sleep. Let me sleep.

STU: That's interesting, that you did yoga. Is there any footage of that? Any video that we could post? That would be good for --

GLENN: No. There's not. You had to do pegboard. Five trips of pegboard. And I think that's when you have the two pegs.

STU: Yes, it was a board.

GLENN: You have to take it out, and put it up, right?

STU: This is American Ninja Warrior. No way.

GLENN: There's no way. There's no way.

STU: This is amazing.

GLENN: Try this one: You had to do a 45-second handstand. I've never been able to do a handstand. Never!

STU: Never.

GLENN: And I'm an elite athlete. I'm an elite athlete. Try this one: A man carry, 5 miles.

STU: What? What do you mean a --

GLENN: Five-mile man carry.

STU: Is a man carry as obvious as it --

GLENN: I think it is.

STU: You're carrying --

GLENN: If I'm going to carry that man, you have to carry me that man for five miles.

I'm not sure, I can't carry any man for any miles. I mean, if I am -- if I am a firefighter, count on burning in the house. You're going to burn in the house. Because I can't carry you out. I can get in there and go, yeah, I will have to leave you.
I will have to leave you here. I can't help you, sorry.

It's also getting really hot in here. I have to go. You had to do a five-mile jog. An obstacle course.

You had to swim prone for a mile. You had to swim underwater for 50 yards, any strokes, two minutes. Deep waterfront, hang float, with arms. What? What is a deep water hang float with arms. Wait. Wait.

It's a deep waterfront hang float with arms and ankles tied for six minutes.

What kind of al-Qaeda PE class was this?

STU: Who has access to -- who has access -- like, you're in the middle of the country, you may not have a deep water body nearby. This is -- are you sure this is an actual test?

GLENN: This is the actual test. This is the actual -- what is a deep water front hang float with arms and ankles tied for six minutes? Can you look that up?

STU: A deep water hang float is an aquatic hang float done in the deep end of a pool with the aid of flotation device, such as a noodle or belt.

In this position, the flotation twice supports your upper body, while your legs and torso hang freely beneath you.

That can't be what it is.

GLENN: You can do that.

Deep-end of the pool.

STU: Can you bring a margarita?

GLENN: Man, this test is no big deal.

What! No way. No way!

Here's the last thing on the test.

A vertical tread in an 8-foot circle for two hours!

No way.

STU: Vertical tread in an 8-foot circle?

GLENN: So you're in the water and you're treading water in a circle for two hours. Two!

STU: This is not -- what?

This is not the test.

GLENN: It is. Now, I told you, this is the top of the test.

This is the top of the test.

So this is for the ones who could do all the other tests.

This was the top of the test. The bottom of the test is not that much better. Here's the entry, okay? Let's see. Pullups, 2/6/10. I don't know what that means. Pushups, 16, 24, 32. Bar dips, four, eight, and 12. Situps, 30, 45, and 60. Broad jump, 6-foot, 6, 6, 6. And 6, 9.

To jump 6 feet? I don't even know if --

STU: That one is possible, yes. Glenn, I know it sounds incredible. But, yes. That one is possible.

GLENN: Sounds incredible. You know, I think we should have the average person Olympics. I really do. I really do.

STU: Oh, I would watch that.


GLENN: I would watch that every time.

You see them coming. And you're like, hmm. That one -- three feet. I'm giving him 3 feet. 200-yard shuttle. Agility run. Rope climb, 18 feet, hands only. 880 yards in three minutes. A mile in seven minutes. Pegboard, six holes. A 50-yard swim. Forty -- 40, 50-yard swim in 36 seconds. Man carry, 880 yards. No, thank you! No, thank you!

Look at -- look at what we've gone down. That's the bottom of it. And I don't think most Americans could do that.

I couldn't. Well, I could. Because I'm an elite -- I have the body of an elite athlete.

STU: No. You could not. Now, of course -- let's just say, this is supposed to be for a high school kid. Right?

So this is the prime of your athletic life. Could you do some of these things? Probably.
GLENN: Go into high school.
Go into any high school, and ask them to do this. There's no way. And all of the kids would be.

STU: Well, that's kind of what the reaction would be.

GLENN: Don't get me wrong. I would have been there too. And my parents would have said, suck it up. Just do it.

So nothing has really changed.

STU: That's been the reaction to this proposal too, of bringing this back. Right? The media is covering this. Like, it's going to embarrass children.

You know, I mean, I do remember it being like, I can't do that. I'm not going to the top of that rope. That's not happening.

That's sort of life. Right? Sometimes you can do things. Sometimes you can't do other things.

GLENN: That's why you have to learn how to injure yourself.

You know, how many stairs can I throw myself down, to not do serious damage, but enough to get me out of PE.

STU: Yeah, you have to fake an why are. You have to learn from LeBron James. Act like you got hit in the eye. And fall down like you were just stabbed over and over again, like you were in an athletic competition.

GLENN: There's no way. There's no way.

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