Glenn reads a common brainteaser that may sound familiar. But today, kids are completing a different version from the age-old, classic one you likely heard in classrooms decades ago. Listen to this clip, and then decide for yourself: Has this school exercise become racist? Should this be deemed 'indoctrination'? And who would YOU choose to survive in the fallout shelter?!
Below is a rush transcript that may contain errors
GLENN: So, Stu, let me you this -- let me give you this assignment. Okay?
GLENN: And see what you think about it. Here's a situation. I'm just reading right off the assignment. You're a member of a civil defense team appointed by the president to make a decision on fallout occupancy. A war has been declared, and it appears, the only occupants of a fallout shelter in Death Valley have a good chance of survival.
STU: It's a good chance for the survival fallout.
GLENN: Yeah. So that leads you to believe, no one is going to win.
STU: Right. End-of-the-world situation.
GLENN: End of humans, and the species. The Death Valley civil defense director has wired Washington, that at present, ten people are occupying the shelter.
A computer has calculated. The shelter can guarantee survival for only six people. Your committee has to decide which four are to be excluded from the group. Four must go, so six may live to rebuild society.
Here are the rules: Everyone must agree with the choice. No voting is allowed. And the final decision must be acceptable to everyone.
STU: Okay. This is going to be a tough one.
GLENN: This is going to be a tough one. Did you ever do this in school?
STU: I don't remember doing this thing. But you have those brainteaser type of questions that occasionally, you would go through.
GLENN: So we did this, I think in our rights and responsibility classes. We talked about, you know, in my day, it was still worried about nuclear war and everything else.
So we would do things like this. But it was all skills based. You have a doctor. You have a plumber. You have someone with no skills. But they're really, really smart. You know what I mean?
And you have to pick. All right. Here are the ten people. A 36-year-old female physician. Who is known to be a confirmed racist. Now, I don't know about you, but I find these 36-year-old female physicians all the time that are confirmed raises.
STU: It's the most racist part of our population.
GLENN: It really is. I mean, here in Texas, they're all racist. And it's hard to hear the diagnosis through the hoods. But, you know --
STU: They have eye holes for a reason. They need mouth holes.
GLENN: They do. Right. No.
Thirty-six-year-old female physician who is known to be a confirmed racist. Number two, a Hispanic Marine drill instructor. You see where this is going?
STU: Okay. And no age on that?
GLENN: No. Uh-uh. Just Hispanic is all that matters. A biological researcher, who is a black militant. An Asian biochemist.
STU: An Asian biochemist.
GLENN: An Olympic athlete. A Hollywood starlet. A third-year medical student, who refuses to reproduce. A 16-year-old pregnant high school dropout of questionable IQ.
STU: A pregnant high school drop out?
GLENN: Yes. Sixteen, with questionable IQ.
Thirty-year-old Catholic priest. A thirty-two-year-old carpenter and all-around fix-it man, who served seven years, for pushing narcotics, who has been out of jail for seven months.
Now, my world, I either say, you know, we party at the bomb site, you know. Forget the shelter. We're just going to hang out.
Or I close the door behind me. You know what I mean?
STU: Just you by yourself?
GLENN: Yeah. Maybe the Hollywood starlet.
STU: That's definite. That's the first one.
GLENN: You have to include her. If you learn from documentary, Gilligan's island. You would know that the Hollywood starlet. Where is the millionaire and his way of?
Anyway, so now, first question is: Do you have a problem with this? Is this more indoctrination?
STU: I guess, a lot of it depends on what the context is, on how it's being presented. You're saying, I assume with this question, you're saying that this comes from a school, and is going to children, to try to teach them about racism or something.
GLENN: Well, have you ever -- I mean, why is it an Asian bio chemist. I guess the only reason why, is because you have a confirmed racist as the doctor.
STU: Right. I can see that being a factor. But you don't want the black nationalist and the white supremacist in the same six-person closet.
GLENN: Correct. But do you notice? Closet, why would you say that? Is there a homosexual on here? Are you reading into the Catholic priest something that is not there?
STU: Not at all, Mr. Hater.
GLENN: Okay. So here's the thing.
Notice that there are no white people here. So the 36-year-old female physician, who is known to be a confirmed racist, might be black, and so she can get along with the black militant. She may be racist against white people.
STU: That's a good point. I assumed right away, that she was a white person.
GLENN: Exactly. Which is an interesting thing. Everyone's race is mentioned except for white.
STU: Because I assumed, this was some left-wing thing.
GLENN: You did. So isn't that interesting. Because I did the first time when I read it. And I think the parents did. Look at this. Female physician, known to be a racist. Everyone just assumes it's white.
Now, that's part of indoctrination, is it not? Unless the kids are smart enough to go, wait a minute. Who is the confirmed racist? What race is she? And is she racist against all races other than hers, or is she like, I hate Native Americans? Well, there's no Native Americans in the group. So we're good.
STU: So she could be a delight.
GLENN: Right. So she could be a delight.
STU: So it's interesting. You mentioned the black nationalist. Black militant, I believe.
STU: And you know right there, black militant is a racist. I don't know if anyone knows this. You happen to be a black nationalist, you're also a racist.
GLENN: Correct. So notice it's a black militant, and not a black racist.
STU: Right. That's true. That's a good point. Okay. And then you have a -- you have an athlete.
GLENN: No. You have an Olympic athlete. It doesn't say what race.
GLENN: So don't just assume that he's white.
STU: Well, I did not.
GLENN: No, I know. But why is there -- why is there black, Hispanic, black and Hispanic. And they don't mention the race of anyone else?
GLENN: Yeah. Black, Hispanic, and Asian.
STU: Hmm. I --
GLENN: First of all, the Asian gets in. An Asian bio chemist. Yes. You're smarter than all of us.
That's so racist. Yeah, well.
STU: Sometimes racism works in your favor.
Some stereotypes, I would say, some of the stereotypes that have been tossed around, against certain races, they tend to enjoy quite a bit.
GLENN: Yes. And some stereotypes, you know, sometimes, they have actual -- you know, it's like I've always said, don't hate people because of their race. That's so stupid. Get to know a person. Hate for real reasons.
STU: Hate them for the content of their character, not the color of their skin.
GLENN: Yeah. Who cares? I looked into their character, they're worthy of the hatred.
STU: So I'm thinking of this -- you're trying to plan the future of society, not you being in the room. Because at first, I thought, Hollywood starlet, you want in the room. But think of how annoying that would get after ten minutes.
GLENN: Oh, no. If she's the only one. If there's six people, and she's one of them, buh-bye.
STU: Yeah. So there's no reason to bring the Hollywood starlet in there. I think the Asian biochemist is the king of this particular exercise, 100 percent in.
GLENN: And the Olympic athlete.
STU: What do you need the Olympic athlete for?
GLENN: If you're having to repopulate the earth, you want a genetic specimen. Plus, in my case, I need somebody to carry me, while everybody is walking long, long ways out of Death Valley.
STU: Okay. I can see that. All right.
GLENN: I mean, I'm saying about the repopulation. But it's really about, hey, dude, just put me on your back and carry me. You need the exercise. You can't let yourself go, don't do it.
STU: I don't know if they believe you. Let me throw another one out there, that I think maybe is controversial out there. But I think this is a no-brainer, which is the pregnant high school dropout. And the thing is, you're trying to rebuild the species, you need a head-start. She's already pregnant. So I think she's in.
GLENN: Yeah. But if you're in that --
STU: Plus you're getting two for one.
GLENN: True. True.
STU: Right? Now, look, I'm normally, I'm a personhood guy. But do we have to count that as two people.
GLENN: No. Listen to this. The baby is crying in a small cramped space after a while.
STU: Yeah. But you'll have to do this eventually, you'll have to repopulate society.
GLENN: Yeah, but you don't have to be in small cramped space. You'll be out after a while. Six months at least, you're in that -- in that room, waiting for things to settle down.
STU: If you're only in for six months, then you can rethink that. But if this is a long-term, like it could be ten years, you have to get it started with the repopulation. Luckily, I've been there. Because I've read the government book, on thermal nuclear war. So I know what to do. All you have to do, to be safe, after the whole thing is blown up, is just scrape off the top 6 inches of topsoil. I don't know what to do with it. But you just scrape that off and hope there's no wind. And you're fine. Earth will be fine.
Okay. So isn't it interesting that an Olympic athlete is there? And what did I say? You put the Olympic athlete in there, because you want a good specimen. You want to repopulate. That's the opposite reason for the 16-year-old pregnant high school dropout with questionable IQ. This is eugenics.
GLENN: You don't want the questionable IQ in the gene pool.
This is making you think like a eugenics professor.
And the question is: And I doubt any of this is being discussed.
The question is: Is that a good thing?
STU: No. Is eugenics, a good thing. No. I'll go out on a limb on that one.
GLENN: Then if you would say no, then you shouldn't, the Olympic athlete, and the questionable IQ. Those aren't questions.
STU: And as I said, the questionable IQ lady was my first choice. Or second choice. The Asian biochemist. I don't know why it's on there. It's obvious. That's 100 percent.
GLENN: Yeah. Is there anybody that is saying no to the Asian biochemist?
STU: I think they walk into the room, the Asian biochemist just keeps walking next door, and goes right into --
GLENN: I'm not involved in this. I'm not involved in this. I'll just set up my cot right now. Guess who gets first choice of rooms?
STU: He's 100 percent in.
GLENN: He? It could be a she.
STU: That's even better. The bottom line, I don't care. He, she. What pronouns do you have?
Get in there, Asian biochemist.