A recent slap on the wrist by the ever-so-fair social media platform YouTube forced Glenn to realize other mistakes he’s made as well. So, Glenn used the first part of his radio show today to apologize to his one true nemesis (no, not Woodrow Wilson).

You don’t want to miss THIS apology to the man, the myth, and the legend: GEORGE SOROS.

. . . . . . . ....April fools?

Transcript

Below is a rush transcript that may contain errors

STU: So you were flagged.

GLENN: I was flagged. But then, that's what I thought. You know, oh, well, they're just saying -- and then I thought to myself, wait a minute. Maybe I have all of this wrong. Maybe I have all of this wrong.

STU: Hmm.

GLENN: And as I was thinking about it, I mean, I tossed and turned all night. And I thought, you know, if I have that wrong. Oh, my gosh. I have to get on the first thing. Because I always see, I lead with my mistakes. I have to get on, and do one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. And also, one of the most important things. You know, come on this program, humbly before you, and admit that I have been wrong. I'm just a man, you know. I have an ego just like any other man. Prick me. Do I not bleed? But I've made a point of always being truthful with you, and what I see.

And when that changes, when I find that I've allowed myself to stray down a dark, dark path, away from the light in which I believe God shines on the proper path, I have no choice, other than to make it right.

So today, I would like to start the show, with a public apology, to a man I've been wronging for literally, oh, almost two decades now. A man whose reputation I have helped sully, and whose life, I have no doubt impacted in a very stressful and negative way. I used to take joy in that. But, no. Not any longer. Because new information has landed on my desk. Yeah. I got it from YouTube. This is a conspiracy theory. And then it all started to unravel. So today, I have to admit, that what YouTube did. Blew all my previous assumptions about one man to absolute smithereens. And so today, I say, George Soros, I am sorry. I am very, very, very, very sorry. Because I remember when I called you the king, on the chessboard. And I said, Barack Obama and Michelle Obama, we're just pawns. Do you remember that? Or those times I referred to you, as the puppet master. Or the head of the snake.

I don't know what I was thinking, when I said those things. Honestly, because all I have left at this point, is honesty. George, I don't know. Maybe it was a little bit of jealousy, because you catch all the hot babes. Maybe it was me. Hiding behind anti-Semitism. I -- I don't know, George.

And I feel so bad about head of the snake, or the puppet master and all of that stuff. And, oh, my gosh. And then I thought, oh. I never got around to calling you the devil's -- I can't, or the poor man's Skeletor, or the wolf in wolf's clothing. I didn't even get a chance to call you Pepperoni Eyes, or the Reichmann for the job. Or old claw foot. Hard to imagine, George. But it could have been worse. But I don't want that to taint, taint this apology.

Gosh, I hear when I said, that you were beyond the collapse of southeast Asian currencies. Those countries that won't let you in, without arresting you. Oh, my gosh.

Talk about being wildly out of line. I think I must have relapsed into drinking for a while when I said that. Because now it's just a total shameful blank to me. And all those times I talked about you wanting to destroy. And then replace the capitalist system. Oh, glug, glug, glug. That's all I can say at this point.

You know, at one point, I thought about the nearly $30 million that you pumped in to basically buying local district attorney spots, and installing radical prosecutors for around 11 percent of the entire population. I ranted and I raved about the massive crime that is spiking in every city, that you touched. All the while, never realizing, it was part of a bigger and better plan, George.

You see, I didn't take into account, that you clearly did in the wake of a movement to defund the police through the United States, you were giving those police something positive and important to do. Like anything else, but police.

I talked about a massive chunk of the 37 and a half million people, now living under these Soros-appointed district attorneys. They were minorities. 15 percent of the entire black population of America. Is living under one of those Soros-appointed attorneys. 16 percent of the entire Hispanic population. I never once stopped to think. I never once stopped to think. And maybe you just wanted to put all those poor, marginalized people, under your massive billionaire's wing to protect them. And you were protecting them, from all of the outside harm that could happen. Oh, George. I stooped so low to call you spooky dude, pepperoni eyes. And that's just not acceptable. I made fun of your cartoonish, super villain-esque accent, which was childish. I've often noted that the massive bags under your eyes, make you look like the emperor from Star Wars.

In fact, I've compared you to him, I mean, for a lot of reasons. Gosh, I had even had the temerity, to put your face on my latest book, The Great Reset. Because I genuinely thought you were a part of something that was going to destroy the American economy. And bring our nation to its knees.

Oh, George, George, George. I was so blind! To your true intentions. Until YouTube cleared it up for me. It's a conspiracy theory. I just couldn't see what you wanted to do, was just to fold this entire free country up under that same rich, powerful, billionaire wing, just to protect it from itself. Oh.

Pepperoni eyes, I am a deeply flawed man, Mr. Claw foot. But I am not above reproach. I am not above coming on this program, above God. And admitting that I have gotten it all wrong. And if you can find it, in that big, warm, American values loving heart that I used to say, didn't exist at all. Forgive me. Forgive me. I'm even wearing my team clause shirt today. I'm -- hang on. What?

Wait a minute. I'm -- I'm getting -- wow. It's April fool's day. Gosh. Pepperoni eyes. I'm sorry for the apology. I'm so sorry for the apology. I didn't know it was April Fool's Day. I'm such a fool.