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Glenn Describes the Culinary Delights of Thailand (Pad Thai Wasn't on the Menu)

Glenn left Thailand with an appreciation for food --- American food.

"I had what was described to me, after I ate some, as fish balls," Glenn said. "They just take fish and they scoop it out."

There wasn't a noodle or dipping sauce in sight. Glenn ultimately found something that satisfied his craving for Thai food (and it wasn't a frog on a stick).

"I'm really ashamed to say when I got back out of the jungles of Thailand, I went to Bangkok, and I did see if there was a good Thai restaurant. I picked the one in the food court of the mall. That was delicious," Glenn said.

Enjoy the complimentary clip above or read the transcript below for details.

GLENN: I have a different appreciation for Thai food.

STU: Yeah?

GLENN: It's kind of like Chinese food.

PAT: Yummy?

GLENN: I'm not sure they have the same recipe that we have.

STU: We have a great Thai food place right around the corner. Delicious. Really good.

GLENN: Right. Right.

STU: Right here in Texas. Texas Thai.

GLENN: That's what I was looking for. Okay.

PAT: Pad Thai. Yeah. Really good.

GLENN: Right. With the little peanuts and stuff?

STU: Yeah, little crumbled peanuts right on top. Crunchy and delicious, with the noodles.

GLENN: Yes. Not what I found. Not what I found. No. Uh-uh. In the -- in the -- I'm really ashamed of this.

So like the last night we were there, I went -- I said, "I just want some Thai food." Because I had -- for instance, I stayed at an Americanized hotel, which was actually a Japanese hotel, but it catered to Americans. And I was so anxious to have an egg that kind of tasted like an egg. And just, can I have something that tastes --

PAT: That maybe came from a chicken. Yeah.

GLENN: Yeah, can I have something that maybe tastes normal for a second? Couldn't find it.

JEFFY: Really?

GLENN: Yeah. I was told, great American breakfast buffet. Go.

I got there. 6 o'clock in the morning, I'm not kidding you, in the steaming tray was spaghetti and meatballs. Now, I don't know about you, but I've never had that for breakfast.

JEFFY: Actually, I have.

GLENN: So I just stayed right with the toast, and I just had toast.

JEFFY: You never had spaghetti and meatballs for breakfast, really? Leftover, fried up in a frying pan?

GLENN: No. Yeah, it's not bad when that's what you're looking for. When you're looking for something to settle your stomach because you've just been in the jungle the day before and you ate something they put in --

JEFFY: Yeah, I'm not sure --

GLENN: I'm not kidding you, it was like in a plate and a spoon and a fork that was like in a prison movie, okay? And then you stand in line like in a prison movie. And they scoop out the sticky rice, which was delicious. And then they put this white creamy meatball stuff.

JEFFY: Ooh.

STU: Yeah, I could not do this. No.

JEFFY: Sauce, no.

GLENN: And they have made it special for you.

STU: No.

JEFFY: Oh.

GLENN: Okay. So, "Would you like more?"

JEFFY: No, thank you.

GLENN: They served some stuff to me that I was like, "Oh, delicious." Don't say that. Because they take you literally and then just put more on your plate.

PAT: Ugh.

GLENN: And I was like, "No, no, no."

Yeah, yeah, delicious.

"Oh, dear God."

STU: In the documentary, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, this was some of the scene I remember.

GLENN: Yes. Yes.

So I had what was described to me after I ate some as fish balls.

JEFFY: Those are good.

GLENN: Now, I didn't even know fish had them.

PAT: Had them. I didn't either.

GLENN: But they just take fish and they scoop it out.

PAT: Into little fish balls.

GLENN: And then put it into a nice -- okay. Not a peanut in sight. And I'm really ashamed to say when I got back out of the jungles of Thailand, I went to Bangkok, and I did -- I did see if there was a good Thai restaurant. And I did pick the one in the food court of the mall.

(laughter)

And that was delicious.

STU: See, that's the best bet. Yeah. Yeah.

GLENN: That was delicious.

STU: I've noticed that eating some different foods over the past few years that I don't actually want authentic.

GLENN: No, no.

STU: What I want is Americanized food from these different regions.

PAT: Yeah.

GLENN: No, I think their authentic food is really good, but I was in a very poor -- I was having, you know, what people on the street would have. You know, the poor people in the jungles in the street. And that is not --

PAT: You were looking for what the kings were eating.

GLENN: Yes.

PAT: They didn't serve you that.

GLENN: Yes. I was looking for something normal. You know, normal. If you say it slow enough -- they still don't understand. No, I'm looking for something normal.

PAT: American food.

GLENN: American food.

JEFFY: Delicious. Yes. Delicious.

PAT: Hamburger.

GLENN: And so what the nice thing is about these orphanages that OUR has put together is the guys I went with were all capitalists, you know, they're all billionaire capitalists. And so they're all -- they've all left their jobs to go and do this. And so they're setting these orphanages up, and all of them have to be self-sustainable. So as they get them going, they are trying to teach everybody a skill. All the kids have to learn a skill. They all are -- they're putting farms in there. This one had a catfish farm, a regular farm, a mushroom farm, and a toad farm.

JEFFY: Nice.

STU: Hmm. A toad farm? Farming toads?

GLENN: A toad farm. Frogs, yes.

STU: Hmm.

GLENN: And the kids as they were sharing with me how the -- a few of the kids go in and they're raising these frogs. And they go in every few days to the market. And the big ones -- and I couldn't have gone in and picked one for me if I like.

JEFFY: Yeah, big size. They're big, yeah.

GLENN: Big ones. Yeah, bigger-than-my-hand frogs. And they take them into the market, and then they just jam a stick up them and cook them there on the open fire, and you can eat them like corn on the cob.

PAT: Man, the dinner bell is ringing now.

GLENN: Man, did I have a hard time saying no.

JEFFY: That does not sound good. Ooh.

GLENN: I had a hard time saying no.

PAT: That's wow.

GLENN: Because next to the frog farm is the fish farm where they got the fish to make the fish balls.

JEFFY: Right.

GLENN: And --

PAT: Sanitary?

GLENN: Did that make my tummy feel good?

JEFFY: Did they put butter on the frogs or anything?

GLENN: No. Uh-uh. No.

STU: Would you say this trip to Thailand is an interesting diet option?

GLENN: Yes. Yes.

STU: Because you're not going want to eat anything.

GLENN: Yes.

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