RADIOOctober 16, 2024

Kamala offered WHAT to black men for votes?!

Kamala Harris’ campaign recently made a new promise to black men: If she’s elected president, she’ll give them all sorts of new things! And one of them is … legal recreational marijuana?! Glenn and Stu review Kamala’s promise to help black men succeed in the weed industry, which sounds just a LITTLE racist. Meanwhile, the state-run media is doing everything it can to scare voters about Donald Trump. But his actual knowledge of the economy is shining through …

Transcript

Below is a rush transcript that may contain errors

GLENN: I was excited to hear all of the things that Kamala is promising for black men.

It's not shameless. It's not shameless.

STU: She's not trying to buy votes. We should point that out.

Some people will think that, when they hear you say that.

GLENN: No.

And don't worry about that pesky Constitution. The enact all of these things would be unconstitutional.

They'll jam it through, somehow or another. You know, hey -- look, we're talking free weed for black people. Can you -- can you -- if -- if I even said that as a joke, I would be off the air. You know what, you want to buy their vote. You want to buy a black man's vote. Give them free weed. You would be banned.

STU: Yeah. Sounds like a David Duke proposal.

GLENN: It does. It really does.

It's like -- can you imagine? Who stood up.

Who stood up?

Please tell me it wasn't a white guy.

I've got an idea. How about we give them crack pipes?

STU: It's that pathetic. It really is.

STU: And was there someone that spoke up at some point, and said, guys, you want -- you want to try to buy black votes with drugs?

I want to make sure I'm understanding the proposal.

GLENN: Aren't -- isn't it kind of racist to say that black people like drugs?

STU: They like drugs, and they can't get identification.

Those are two campaign planks.

GLENN: That's unbelievable.

Well, they're too stoned, Stu, to figure out identification. They need it to buy their big huge, you know, ten-gallon malt liquor.

STU: It's unbelievable. They may as well try all these proposals. And you wonder, hey. Well, these are the types of plans that will get black voters.

Actually, maybe it's this type of thinking, that had you lose them in the first place.

I will just throw it out there.

GLENN: It might be.

But, hey, if it works. Let's offer free chopsticks and driving lessons for Asians.

STU: That's basically what they're doing. That's basically it.

GLENN: It is what they're doing. Now, white people, you get Ugg boots and Starbucks gift certificates. Venezuelans we already gave them free apartment buildings in Colorado.

STU: That's true. Well, they worked for those. I will say.

GLENN: We have them covered.

I was thinking, Native Americans, and I thought, we should give them sheets and pillow cases to go with the -- and I said, well, no.

No. We shouldn't remind anybody about the blankets. Just maybe more casinos. More casinos.

Now, that's not racist. That's not racist. What?

STU: That's just going after individual voters, that they care about so much.

It's despicable.

GLENN: How about tacos for Hispanics?

Nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that.

And white men.

STU: Yeah. You know.

GLENN: Probably nothing.

Just beat it, dude.

Or wait a minute.

White men get free trans surgeries.

There you -- there you go. Because that's what they really want.

That's the white man talking. I'm man enough to say I want to be a woman.

That's how man I am. So, man up.

Become a woman. I think that's great. I think that's great.

By the way, J.D. Vance did come out yesterday, and, you know, I said that I would -- that if I ever heard of anything that was, you know, unconstitutional, dictatorial, I would out them. And I would stand with the Constitution.

And I'm going to do it.

Because J.D. Vance came out yesterday and said, well, Graters is now making a Skyline chili-flavored ice cream, and they're going to ban it.

See, I think chili-flavored ice cream would make me vomit. But I'm -- but, hey. Hey. Hey. I'm going to stick up for that ice cream. You know what I mean?

You're not going to ban any ice cream on my watch, J.D. Vance. Not one.

Honestly, that's what they would do. He actually made that tweet as a joke. That's what he would say. See, he's serious. He's serious. He will go after ice cream flavors he doesn't like.

GLENN: Right. I heard a whole report this morning, Glenn, how Donald Trump just stood there.

Played DJ for 45 minutes, played song after song after song.

GLENN: Yeah. For no reason.

STU: No mention of the fact that there were medical emergencies in the crowd. I mean, how can you tell that story without telling why he stopped taking questions during the town hall because there was someone potentially dying in front of him?

But having some sort of medical emergency.

GLENN: But he doesn't care. He doesn't care about people with medical issues. He doesn't care.

STU: No.

GLENN: What did he do?

He danced. Somebody is dying. And he's dancing with YMC. What a monster that guy is.

So Charlemagne the God, which I don't know.

At some point in my life, you know, I might worry that that might be a little blasphemous. There might be a question or two on the final exam, you know what I'm saying?

You didn't think that maybe you shouldn't call yourself.

But, I mean, it's working out for him in life.

STU: Well, since he spelled the, T-H-A. Does that get him out of any of these problems?

GLENN: And the isn't capitalized, even though the G is capitalized in God.

But I think the T-H-A. I don't even know what that means. That's my out with God. I didn't call myself God. I said Tha God.

STU: I have news for you. If you put the A at the end of certain words, it doesn't always help.
(laughter)

GLENN: Well, it does some people.

STU: Some people it does.

GLENN: Maybe he has the A thing going on this word too.

I'm not really sure. So, anyway, he was -- he was doing a town hall, with Kamala.

Kamala.

And, you know, got -- I've got -- you've got to give it. You know, she was great. She's for some reparations.

You know, which is -- which is great.

Let me give you some of the things that she was talking about yesterday.

I love the fact. I don't have the audio. But I do have the text of somebody that called -- somebody that called in, you know, and spoke to the God.

And said, you know, I'm -- I have to tell you, I'm a little -- I'm a little concerned.

I'm a little concerned.

Because I think Donald Trump is going to round everybody who is not white. He's going to round them all up and put them in camps.

And she said, you ready?

You see? See?

I mean, you get it. You get it.

STU: You get it? Okay.

I've got to understand.

The right are the conspiracy theorists.

But every non-white person going into camps is, you get it. From a presidential candidate.

GLENN: Well, you get it, because all he's doing is pedaling fear. So you're afraid.

That she didn't say, he's not going to.

STU: Right. She didn't try to dissolve the fear at all.

GLENN: No. No.

That's why you should vote for me.

Because you're afraid, you will be round up and put into a camp.

STU: But that's an insane fear.

GLENN: Yeah. That is.

STU: That there was no -- hey. By the way, there's no chance that he does this.

And, by the way, the only people who have done it, are progressives.

That wasn't mentioned by Kamala.

GLENN: No. She did mention, that this is the very kind of laws, that -- that have happened before. They rounded up the Japanese. And when she says they, I think she means we.

STU: We.

GLENN: The Democrats did that.

STU: They didn't mention that though.

GLENN: No. Well, they don't like to mention things like the Klan, that was an arm of the democratic party. You know, and they kind of leave out the part that, yeah. It was -- it was us in our big, big eugenics time.

You know, eugenics, part one, we're kind of in eugenics part two right now.

But, yeah. We rounded up the Japanese. Because, you know, there is sub -- there is sub people, you know.

Can't trust them. Can't trust them, you know. They're shifty. And they're short.

STU: That totally goes against their, just announced chopsticks program that they were --

GLENN: Well, reparations. Reparations. So we have to give them some chopsticks. And maybe some rice. Maybe some rice.

I don't think it's offensive to Asian people, do you?

STU: No. It's central to how they're running their campaign.

GLENN: Gosh. That is so absolutely amazing.

Meanwhile, here's what -- here's what Kamala, a spokesperson for Kamala was saying on MSNBC. Now, I want you to listen to this.

If you are, if you're watching, you are going to get the problem with this quickly. But I'll explain for radio listeners. In just a second.

Here it is.

VOICE: And that is probably one of the clearest contrasts you will see last week in this race. You will see the vice president out on the trail, every single day, talking about her ideas, going to these big media platforms to share her vision with the biggest number of Americans possible.

While Donald Trump continues to sort of retreat into himself. In the small MAGA universe. That is all about him.

Because that's all he's really interested in right now.

GLENN: Right. Right.

Okay. So here's the thing. As he's talking, behind him is the video of Donald Trump in Chicago, at an economic forum, where he's doing an interview with a guy who completely disagrees with him.

STU: Goes after him the entire time.

There's a Bloomberg forum.

GLENN: Yeah. It's crazy.

STU: Bloomberg, the former democratic presidential candidate.

GLENN: Right. But he's still in his small little universe. I mean, listen.

This is how contentious it got. Cut two, please.

DONALD: What is the Wall Street Journal -- I'm meeting with them tomorrow. What is the Wall Street Journal -- they've been wrong about everything, so have you, by the way.

You were wrong about --

VOICE: You're trying to turn this.

DONALD: You've been wrong.

VOICE: You're trying to turn this into a debate.

DONALD: It's not a debate. But you're wrong. You've been wrong all your life on this stuff.

GLENN: So -- and now, by the way, he walked into a room, where it was not friendly.

Standing ovation, when he left. And the people that were there said, he turned to like about half the crowd.

Because he was -- I've never heard a president, who actually can speak with experience, and deeply about economic and business issues.

You know, I can -- you know, like Ronald Reagan. You know, he could speak about those things.

And he knew what he knew.

But not from an experience of actually doing. Not being able to talk to businesspeople, and say, look, I've been there, dude.

I know exactly what's happening.

It was really quite remarkable.

And the -- and the interviewer just didn't get him at all.

Listen to this. Cut one.

VOICE: How about this?

Gavin Newscum. He's the governor of California.

VOICE: Newsom.

DONALD: Newscum, I call him. He corrected me. That's the first time --

VOICE: There are CEOs out here. If they said those things about a rival CEO, they would be sacked. Do you think it's --

DONALD: I know. But they don't have to survive like me. They don't have to go through what I have to go through.

There's never been a president being treated like me, so I have to fight my own way.

GLENN: This guy who is doing the -- what's his name?

Michael Thorpe. Yeah, Michael Thorpe

Hello. Yes. Lord Michael Thorpe.

But he's not real popular with the crowd.

At least a good portion of the crowd. Not real popular. And I love that answer from him. They don't have to deal with what I have to deal with.

They don't have to deal with, what I've had to deal with. No president has ever been treated this way.

STU: I love that too.

It's such a stupid point.

If a CEO said that, they would be sacked. Well, Trump was a CEO. And he said stuff like that all the time. I guess if he owned the company, it doesn't happen. That's one way of working on it.

GLENN: Yeah. People actually are really flocking to people who are real.

You know, you may not like Donald Trump.

But at least you know he's real. That's who he is. That's who he is.

Who is Kamala? Seriously.

Can anyone tell me who they think she really is?

STU: I mean, I have my opinions.

You know, but I guess the whole point of her campaign is to hide who she is.

That's the whole point.

This is why it's so incredible. To hear the commentator, you played a couple of seconds ago.

Where they were like, well, what Donald Trump is going to do is he's going to stay in his own MAGA base, and Kamala will be everywhere.

What -- she didn't do an interview for 80 days as a candidate.

Well, most of them as a candidate.

80 days.

She did no interviews for 80 days!

What do you mean?

GLENN: Until her campaign started to fall apart.

STU: Until her campaign started to fall apart.

All of a sudden, we have to do all the interviews.

Not to mention, the previous candidate, didn't do a cabinet meeting for multiple years.

Like how can you possibly be out there arguing this.

GLENN: Because it's a mental illness. It is a mental illness. I really believe. Not all Democrats.

But I think there is probably 20 to 30 percent of the country, that is mentally ill, right now.

Mentally ill. There might be --

STU: That's quite an accusation to say it's that low.

GLENN: And I mean, I mean, honestly, if -- if we were not living in this everything is political kind of state, if you could go back 15 years, and just have doctors, look at people, and I bring my daughter in.

She thinks she's a dog.

And she said that I should -- I should lose my stewardship over my -- my 12-year-old daughter because she's a dog.

And she wants her skin taken off.

And fur glued on to her.

STU: Or fur glued on.

GLENN: I don't know. One of the two. I'm a panicked father right now.

STU: Yes. Exactly.

GLENN: Okay? I'm trying to talk about the health of my daughter.

A doctor would say, we need to put her in a hospital. We need to put her in a hospital.

We need to have at least talk therapy.

Now?

Everybody -- everybody on the left, it seems is like, oh, you monster.

Come here, Fido.

Come here. Let me pet you.

That's even creepy. Doc, you see what's happening over here? That's creepy.

STU: Oh, well, then you need to go to the hospital if you think that's creepy.

GLENN: That's right.

Exposing the dangerous roots of queer theory

In this explosive conversation, Glenn Beck and Liz Wheeler expose the disturbing roots of gender ideology and queer theory — and how these radical ideas are directly targeting children. From the shocking origins of queer theory, where pedophilia and child pornography were openly defended, to Planned Parenthood’s new role as one of the largest distributors of transgender hormone therapy, the truth is undeniable: this movement is not about freedom or equality, but about dismantling families, corrupting innocence, and profiting off of our children’s pain. What we are witnessing is nothing less than a satanic ideology dressed up as compassion — and it’s spreading like wildfire through schools, culture, and medicine. Parents, you need to hear this. The time to protect your children and fight back is NOW.

Watch the full episode HERE

Glenn's "secret" to conquering the JFK fitness test

President Trump recently signed an executive order to reinstate the Presidential Fitness Test and the media is in a frenzy. But Glenn and Stu look back at the history of these tests, including JFK’s version of the Test that seems IMPOSSIBLE for modern Americans. But Glenn has a secret reason for why he’s confident in his pull-up abilities…

Transcript

Below is a rush transcript that may contain errors

GLENN: What is the -- what is the new physical -- the president's physical fitness, you know, plan?

STU: Well, the thing that RFK Jr and Hegseth were rolling out the other day. I don't know if it was the full test or anything, but they were issuing a challenge to America, to be able to do 100 pushups and 50 pullups within five minutes.

GLENN: That's crazy.

STU: Thank you! That struck you as also crazy.

I don't think there's ever been a time in my life, that I could do that. Let alone now with shoulder problems. And much too much weight.

GLENN: All right. But that was before I needed this walker.

STU: I don't think there was a time in my 20s or my teens, that I could do that. But that -- in five minutes? Fifty pullups?
GLENN: Both of them in 5 minutes.
STU: Yeah, both of them. So it's not like 100 pushups in five minutes. It's both tasks within five minutes.

GLENN: No. No. That's not true.

STU: RFK Jr. is just doing it in jeans.

GLENN: Yeah, well, RFK, he's -- he's a weirdo. I mean, he is. Come on. When it comes to fitness, he's a weirdo.
STU: Yes.
GLENN: I mean, he's done this his whole life. He's like 800 years old. He can still do it.

STU: Yes. Depressive, I will say.

GLENN: I don't know. He's a sex machine.

STU: Oh. That's been a problem for him. Yes, that's been an issue in his life. Yes.

GLENN: Okay. All right. Go ahead.

STU: Separate from the president's physical fitness test.

GLENN: Right.

STU: But, I mean, they don't, they don't really think we're going to do that, right?
Like, I mean, how long would that take you to do?

STU: I think for me, it would take a good month. I think a month, I could probably get two pullups a day. That would get me around, a little over 50. So I could do that. Plus, the pushups. A solid month, I could get that done.

GLENN: You could do more than two a day. You could do more than two a day.

STU: You know, Glenn, I've got to say. I think -- I will throw a number out there. No science behind this, so just as a guestimate.

I would say 40 percent of the population can't do any pullups. Maybe 30 percent. Thirty percent of the population can do exactly zero pullups. Precisely zero, so an infinite amount of time would be a correct answer for a third of the population.

GLENN: I think you're -- I think you're being -- I think you're being a little too optimistic. I think it's closer to 40 or 50. I think it's closer to 40 or 50. Maybe 60 percent.

STU: Right! Pushups are one thing. I mean, I think almost anyone can do a pushup. One --

GLENN: You can do a pushup. Yes. Yes.

STU: Singular pushup. And if you can do one, you can wait long enough, to do a second one.
And at some point, the hundred gets done. That's not the case with pullups. Pullups, you can sit there and think about how much you want to do a pullup for a really long time. But that doesn't make a pullup happen. If you've got a certain amount of weight on you. You're not doing a pullup. It's not occurring.

GLENN: I have no idea, how many pullups I can do.

STU: I have an exact number of pullups, you can do.

GLENN: Do you? You think so?

STU: Yeah. Yeah. I have the exact number. I have to calculate -- AI has been running a report on me. It came up with zero.

GLENN: Right. Right. Really?
I can do. I mean, this is so pathetic. Listen to this. I bet I could do three. You know, you could do three.

STU: In a row? Proper form.

GLENN: What do you mean in a row?

STU: I mean, holding on to the bar, without letting go, you're doing three. There's no way. I don't think so.

GLENN: I think I could do. Well, with proper form, I don't know about that. I don't know about that.

STU: I'm not saying it has to look pretty. You have to get your chin up above the bar. It can't be one of those things, where you're a quarter of the way up there.

GLENN: So I can do one and rest for ten minutes. I could do another one.

I think I can do that.

STU: If you -- I'm not saying, you jump up, and you pull yourself up as you're pulling up. Full hang --

GLENN: See, you may not know this.

But you know what, I've done the DNA test. Have you ever done the DNA test that tells you all about your genes and everything else? Mine came back with something remarkable, and I have to share. You might feel bad, next.
(laughter)

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STU: Coming up next, Glenn attempts live pullups on the air. Stay tuned!
(OUT AT 8:29 AM)

GLENN: You know no idea what who you're dealing with. No. You don't have any idea who you're dealing with here.

I got my DNA test back like 10 years ago. And we all -- we all took it, because we were looking for things. And so we all took it. My DNA test came back, and everybody in the family, their test made total sense. Like, oh, yeah. That makes...

Then we read mine. We have to find -- I have to find. See if Tania has it still. We should have had it framed. I swear to you, they -- they mixed me up with somebody else.

Somebody else is like, wait a minute. I'm this pathetic? Mine came out and said, you have the muscular structure of a -- of a -- something like a -- an elite athlete. You have the abilities and agility and everything else of an elite athlete. And I'm like, there's not a chance. I don't have any of that!

I don't even know if I have muscles. I have to check once in a while, and go, do I have muscles still?

Doctor is like, I don't know. Can I? Ask just press against my hand on the leg. I don't know.

You know, I don't know how to do that exactly. So --

STU: You sure it said elite athlete and not elephant? I mean, if they misspelled it.

GLENN: It was.

I was having eye problems at the time.

STU: No!

GLENN: I mean, we read it. And I was like Tania, I believe that for Tania.

Maybe they switched me and Tania. Because Tania is really strong. She'll kick your butt.

She works out every day. All of that. Me? Never. Never.

And it kind of makes me wonder, when I get to the other side, and the Lord went, okay.

So what did you do with your life again?

Because I gave this incredible body, and you wasted it the whole time.

And I'm like, you should have been more clear, okay?

You should have been more clear. I -- maybe I could have played basketball. But I tried once. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing. It was like sixth grade. And I'll never live -- I don't even want to think about my time on a basketball court. Okay? So don't -- don't start with me. You should have made it a little clearer. When I first started to do stuff. And I think that's fair. I think that's a fair argument. In my defense. In my defense, Your Honor, God, you should have made it a little more clear.

STU: Yeah. I mean, if they really wanted us to do this, then the 11th Commandment is 50 pushups, and -- or, 50 pullups and 100 pushups, right?

Like, put it in a commandment if you really want us to do it. You have to be more specific, we're Americans.

GLENN: Okay. So let me give you the top of the list for the JFK Presidential Fitness Test. Okay? This is what you had to do in high school. In high school.

Thirty-four pullups. Bar dips: Fifty-two. What's -- because I believe I did that. A long time. And I don't recommend it.

STU: It's not a barhop.

GLENN: Oh, it's -- oh, bar dips. Okay. Okay. All right.

Bar dips: 52. Handstand pushups: Fifty. What are handstands?

STU: Oh, my God. Handstands.

GLENN: I can't even stand on my hands. Is that I'm doing a handstand and a push up? Because that's not happening. You're not human.

STU: Yeah. You're balancing yourself on your hands. Your feet are above your hands on the wall. Like a wall. And you're doing --

GLENN: Oh, so you're balancing yourself. That makes it a little easier. Still impossible.

But a little easier.

GLENN: Impossible. You could do precisely zero of those.

Aright. So you had to do 50 handstand pushups.

Or one arm -- 30 -- no, sir.

Twenty-six one-arm burpees in 30 seconds. Is that a one-armed push up?

STU: No. Well, you're bracing your yourself like you're about to begin a pushup in a burpee with only one arm, which that's not that difficult.

But then you're doing. Then you're like, you move your feet towards your hands. And then you jump up in the air basically. And then you do it repeatedly.

GLENN: No, no, no. That's ridiculous. No.

STU: There's a law of gravity. You're not supposed to violate it. If it was a recommendation of gravity, then maybe jumping would be appropriate. But it's not. Follow the law.

GLENN: In 48 seconds, you had to do a 3300-yard shuttle. Now, I've been to the airport. I think I've done a 3300-yard shuttle, but it depends on who is driving. You know.

STU: Yeah.

GLENN: Rope climb. Try this. Rope climb. Twenty feet, hands only! Sit start.

STU: That's what I remember from the president's physical fitness test. And I remember looking at that rope, like, no chance I could get up that thing.

GLENN: I remember looking up at that thing. Humiliation. Humiliation is coming my way. I'll never kiss a girl, because that ain't happening. I'll get maybe 10 feet up. Maybe. Maybe.

STU: And you were right for 24 years from that time, approximately.

GLENN: Agility run, 17 seconds. Extension pressups, what? What?

I'm sorry. Why am I so tired reading this?

Extension pressups. What's an extension pressup, 8-inch? You had to do 100 of them.

STU: Let's see. Exercise. An exercise for low-back pain involving lying on your stomach and pressing your upper body up with your arms while keeping your hips relaxed and down on the mat.

GLENN: Oh, I could do that know. 8 inches.

STU: The last part of it, relaxing down on the mat.
GLENN: That's what my doctor says I should be doing. What?

STU: I can do relaxed and down on the mat. That part of it --

GLENN: Yeah. I could do that -- I'm the only guy. I took yoga for a while, like three weeks. My wife is like, yoga. You could do yoga. Let's just do yoga together.

I did. And the yoga instructor said to me. Because we were doing a plank.

STU: Yeah.

GLENN: And she came and all I remember her waking me up. And saying, I think you're the only person I've ever -- ever taught that fell asleep in yoga. And I'm like, it's just so relaxing. Just let me sleep. Let me sleep.

STU: That's interesting, that you did yoga. Is there any footage of that? Any video that we could post? That would be good for --

GLENN: No. There's not. You had to do pegboard. Five trips of pegboard. And I think that's when you have the two pegs.

STU: Yes, it was a board.

GLENN: You have to take it out, and put it up, right?

STU: This is American Ninja Warrior. No way.

GLENN: There's no way. There's no way.

STU: This is amazing.

GLENN: Try this one: You had to do a 45-second handstand. I've never been able to do a handstand. Never!

STU: Never.

GLENN: And I'm an elite athlete. I'm an elite athlete. Try this one: A man carry, 5 miles.

STU: What? What do you mean a --

GLENN: Five-mile man carry.

STU: Is a man carry as obvious as it --

GLENN: I think it is.

STU: You're carrying --

GLENN: If I'm going to carry that man, you have to carry me that man for five miles.

I'm not sure, I can't carry any man for any miles. I mean, if I am -- if I am a firefighter, count on burning in the house. You're going to burn in the house. Because I can't carry you out. I can get in there and go, yeah, I will have to leave you.
I will have to leave you here. I can't help you, sorry.

It's also getting really hot in here. I have to go. You had to do a five-mile jog. An obstacle course.

You had to swim prone for a mile. You had to swim underwater for 50 yards, any strokes, two minutes. Deep waterfront, hang float, with arms. What? What is a deep water hang float with arms. Wait. Wait.

It's a deep waterfront hang float with arms and ankles tied for six minutes.

What kind of al-Qaeda PE class was this?

STU: Who has access to -- who has access -- like, you're in the middle of the country, you may not have a deep water body nearby. This is -- are you sure this is an actual test?

GLENN: This is the actual test. This is the actual -- what is a deep water front hang float with arms and ankles tied for six minutes? Can you look that up?

STU: A deep water hang float is an aquatic hang float done in the deep end of a pool with the aid of flotation device, such as a noodle or belt.

In this position, the flotation twice supports your upper body, while your legs and torso hang freely beneath you.

That can't be what it is.

GLENN: You can do that.

Deep-end of the pool.

STU: Can you bring a margarita?

GLENN: Man, this test is no big deal.

What! No way. No way!

Here's the last thing on the test.

A vertical tread in an 8-foot circle for two hours!

No way.

STU: Vertical tread in an 8-foot circle?

GLENN: So you're in the water and you're treading water in a circle for two hours. Two!

STU: This is not -- what?

This is not the test.

GLENN: It is. Now, I told you, this is the top of the test.

This is the top of the test.

So this is for the ones who could do all the other tests.

This was the top of the test. The bottom of the test is not that much better. Here's the entry, okay? Let's see. Pullups, 2/6/10. I don't know what that means. Pushups, 16, 24, 32. Bar dips, four, eight, and 12. Situps, 30, 45, and 60. Broad jump, 6-foot, 6, 6, 6. And 6, 9.

To jump 6 feet? I don't even know if --

STU: That one is possible, yes. Glenn, I know it sounds incredible. But, yes. That one is possible.

GLENN: Sounds incredible. You know, I think we should have the average person Olympics. I really do. I really do.

STU: Oh, I would watch that.

GLENN: I would watch that every time.

You see them coming. And you're like, hmm. That one -- three feet. I'm giving him 3 feet. 200-yard shuttle. Agility run. Rope climb, 18 feet, hands only. 880 yards in three minutes. A mile in seven minutes. Pegboard, six holes. A 50-yard swim. Forty -- 40, 50-yard swim in 36 seconds. Man carry, 880 yards. No, thank you! No, thank you!

Look at -- look at what we've gone down. That's the bottom of it. And I don't think most Americans could do that.

I couldn't. Well, I could. Because I'm an elite -- I have the body of an elite athlete.

STU: No. You could not. Now, of course -- let's just say, this is supposed to be for a high school kid. Right?

So this is the prime of your athletic life. Could you do some of these things? Probably.
GLENN: Go into high school.
Go into any high school, and ask them to do this. There's no way. And all of the kids would be.

STU: Well, that's kind of what the reaction would be.

GLENN: Don't get me wrong. I would have been there too. And my parents would have said, suck it up. Just do it.

So nothing has really changed.

STU: That's been the reaction to this proposal too, of bringing this back. Right? The media is covering this. Like, it's going to embarrass children.

You know, I mean, I do remember it being like, I can't do that. I'm not going to the top of that rope. That's not happening.

That's sort of life. Right? Sometimes you can do things. Sometimes you can't do other things.

GLENN: That's why you have to learn how to injure yourself.

You know, how many stairs can I throw myself down, to not do serious damage, but enough to get me out of PE.

STU: Yeah, you have to fake an why are. You have to learn from LeBron James. Act like you got hit in the eye. And fall down like you were just stabbed over and over again, like you were in an athletic competition.

GLENN: There's no way. There's no way.

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